Blank adverse

Shortly before the general election, I happened to be choosing some potted plants from the kiosk in Republic Street, Valletta.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see someone behaving like the proverbial cat on a hot tin roof, ranting and raving into his cellular telephone. "And tell him..." he was saying, as he frothed at the mouth "...that none of us will vote, unless...."

I pricked my ears as he continued to name-drop with abandon, outlining this pathetic, puerile plan of action, and stabbing the air with his free index finger. The said plan would come into force unless the taxi stand was re-instituted at the corner where St John Street meets Republic Street.

It was a foregone conclusion that the transport strike would appear to have happened on different planets, if one had to listen to solely Media.Link or One.

The former appear to have awaited the inevitable bellicose tactics by the strikers, so that they could report on the illegality of their actions. The latter, meanwhile, painted a dire picture of hopelessly stranded people whose distress was indirectly caused by obdurate people who would brook no discussion.

The truth, as usual, lay somewhere in between.

There was a time when anyone hoping to be on the audio/visual media had to sit for a voice test. This appears not to be the case these days, judging from the tones of voice that beset our eardrums daily.

Because you possess a degree in a language, can speak it fluently, or even hold an interesting conversation, does not mean that you can broadcast. Because you purchase air time, it does not mean you become a broadcaster. Whether one is a duty announcer, a newscaster, a DJ, or even the voice-over for a commercial, it is important to be able to grab people's attention - and then hold it. Think Charles Abela Mizzi. Think Anna Bonett.

Delia Corrie is one of the best British voice-over artistes I have ever heard. Her voice is behind the Keeping Up Appearances bumphs on Magic for TVM. I was hoping that edited clips of the series would appear on TVM, on the same lines, to continue the campaign - but so far this has not been the case.

This would not only provide entertainment value - it would also provide a benchmark for local advertisers. For instance, an advertisement for a catering firm promises the moon and a bag in which to put it.

The snag is that the background music is the song It's My Party (and I cry if I want to).

The same goes for the use of language - the vernacular as well as English. Every station ought to have a consultant for both the written and the spoken word: be it a recipe list of ingredients or crawls during news bulletins, it would seem that these people are either giving their responsibilities short shrift, or they are not up to par.

Some presenters do not even know the basics of the language. This week, probably the worst culprit was the one who said It-translation għar-Russian għamilthieli r-relattiva tiegħi.

There are times, apparently, when the presentation officer has to take split-second decisions when something untoward crops up.

The other day, the wrong tape (an unedited version of the scheduled programme) was slotted on One. As soon as the mistake was noticed, it was rectified - the screen went blank and a replacement programme by a different presenter was aired instead. Again, there was no word of apology to viewers. We were expected to be thankful for what was thrown at us.

Last Sunday morning, on Radju Malta, Tony Micallef's interviewee was Tony C. Cutajar. At one point, he said that the reason he had not been allowed to be on the Station of the Nation was that his "t" was pronounced the English way (he had just returned from Britain).

Mr Cutajar was illustrating how exigent the rules were in the early 1970s when Radio Malta formed part of the Broadcasting Authority, and how broadcasting has gone to the dogs now, with people not even being able to speak proper Maltese.

As from October, a 26-episode comedy called Boxxla Xjaten will be launched on Net. We can safely assume it is going to be one hell of a series - seeing that it takes place in the Netherworld, and comes complete with a pet dragon, called, inevitably, Fjammettu. Written by Joseph A. Cachia, it is a Bronk Productions series directed by Tonio Vella.

Meanwhile, I am pleased to say that the guest in Lilliput Story (One, Tuesdays at 5 p.m.) will be the wonderfully talented RnB singer Baresine. The programme will also spotlight the works of E.B. White, the American journalist and author, and Ruth Frendo will read further pages from Around the World in Eighty Days...

I am especially pleased that the first press release about Eurosong '09 states that "the lyrics of the songs, the dance movements (if any), and their clothes, are to respect the young age of the participants and not make the children seen like small adults."