Same sex. Different cities.

About a month ago, I was watching one of the local breakfast shows. The subject was films and the host was giving us his two cents' worth on the must-sees. I nearly choked on my toast when he strongly recommended 'Kick the Bucket'. Of course he meant The Bucket List. It was just a lapsus, but I found it rather amusing because I am eternally amazed at the way some people bulldoze on, with absolutely no hesitation, even if they're about to recommend a film which doesn't actually exist.

Anyway, the point of my story concerns the lady who was being interviewed on the show. She had obviously just gone to watch Sex and the City and as she was about to announce this to all of us at home, she looked to the host for 'permission' and validation. And it got me thinking about sex and how it is still an issue. It's a word that makes people strangely uncomfortable.

I have actually watched both The Bucket List and Sex and the City. The latter is a chick flick if ever there was one and makes for a fun night out with the ladies, even though the series is far superior. But the thing which struck me as odd is why a film, which pretty much re-enacts the entire dating scene in the Western world, could provoke so much hoo-hah.

I mean, take away New York, Los Angeles, the $790 python gladiator Christian Dior Sandals, the $795 studded Proenza Schouler heeds, the endless sea of Prada, La Croix, De la Renta and Vivienne Westwood and it could so easily have been any one of us really. Because we are all looking for love. And sadly a lot of us don't really know what to do with it, once we've found it. But at the risk of sounding a little frivolous (this is The Sunday Times after all), the fact is that although we are living on an island which has, thus far, held out on the divorce front, the dating scene here is no different to the one in the Big Apple.

We're quite schizophrenic when it comes to dating, marriage and the whole culture that surrounds matrimony here in Malta. For the most part, people who get married have been around the block a few times. They've sowed their oats, played the field and yet when push comes to shove they want to walk down the aisle in true vestal virgin fashion, white dress and all the trimmings, pledge their love and exchange their vows before God and the Church.

Sex before marriage isn't an issue before marriage. It ought to be an issue of course but it's swept under the carpet. Couples aren't grilled beforehand by Cana or by the Church. There is never any sort of doubt in anyone's mind that they will be allowed to marry. And why would there be? After all, forgiveness is the cornerstone of our religion. And sin is what we do best. So we ask that our sins be forgiven and we're good to go.

And this is the part that always gets me. The Establishment is very permissive when it comes to the beginning of marriage. But the same free and easiness isn't extended to the end of a marriage. So you see, there's a Dr Jekyll, Mr Hyde situation here in Malta. We have the whole sex and the city culture going on before marriage which many people can't seem to switch off after marriage. And unlike New Yorkers our marriages are supposedly forever. There are lots of ways into marriages but no easy way out.

In Saudi Arabia divorce is permitted but dating isn't and is even an offence. Allah frowns on men and women mixing because co-ed mingling leads to immoral tingling. Apart from sounding scary, to me it sounds fascinating. And I think Riyadh should be the next backdrop for Sex and the City because that is where all the intrigue is. Girls will be girls.

And more importantly girls just want to have fun. And to fall in love.

I recently read the Middle Eastern version of Sex and the City and was truly intrigued. I have had a morbid fascination with arranged marriages and with Saudi Arabia ever since I was told I was not allowed to visit.

Saudi Arabia conjures up images of women covered in black abayas and hijabs, of ridiculously high temperatures, of Bin Laden and oil wells, but it's hardly the place you'd fly to if you were single and looking for romance. But you see, that's the thing. Beyond all that segregation and beneath the hijab, women are the same the world over. They like their red lipstick and their Louis Vuittons and even though dating may be forbidden, offences never stopped anyone doing something.

So while their marriages are being arranged these girls are chatting up men online and using aliases. Others surreptitiously hold clandestine meetings and risk being punished by the religious police, while other girls of Riyadh get the family chauffeur to deliver love letters to their not-so-secret admirers. Some slip up and have sex before marriage and risk being left in the lurch and others marry men who are in love with other women. It's the same the world over-tutto il mondo è paese!

michelaspiteri@gmail.com