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Ashton Kutcher and Tanya Roberts were just two of the 'names' that started out in That '70s Show.

One of the characters, however, did not have a name, although he was referred to as either 'Fez' or 'Fes'; the name was an acronym of 'Foreign Exchange Student'.

In one of the episodes, this person imagines jumping over a shark, a reference to the Happy Days episode where The Fonz 'jumps the shark' literally, with the series doing so figuratively.

Hyde bursts his bubble, commenting that not only was jumping a shark a very, very bad idea - but that the scene in the series was also 'the worst moment in television history'.

Jumping the shark defines the moment when something has passed the point of no return in terms of quality; when the popularity of a series is flagging and the producers try and eke out the public's interest in it by introducing some kind of deus ex machina, cliff-hangers or climaxes - the birth of a child; the death of an actor, preferably by foul means, and preferably onscreen; a wedding; animosity ending and characters falling into bed together; the introduction of new characters, big-name personalities who have nothing to do with the world of film-making cameo appearances, and so on.

Alas, all this fails to pump new life into sorry productions. And this is something Maltese production houses would do well to learn.

In fact, I hear that the archives at PBS are finally being seen to. I humbly suggest that certain people be given tickets to watch these tapes, to learn something, anything, from them, about how broadcasting ought to be done.

One person who does know is Ray Calleja - but this week he was guilty of "fowl" play. He invited the four female newscasters of PBS to sit on his couch and chat - but alas when he asked them the million-dollar question about why Norma Saliba was no longer part of the team, she was not there to confirm or deny what they said.

On second thoughts, could he have been astute enough to realise that body language would help us read between the lines if we were careful?

Whichever way you look at it, there are series that never jump the shark, although the characters in them (because the whole series is loaded with references to others) occasionally do.

One prime example is The Simpsons, with recent figures indicating that nearly a quarter of British Sky One (the channel that first airs new Simpsons episodes in the UK) viewers do so because the want to watch this particular show.

One hopes that out of the demos that the PBS Editorial Board watched last Wednesday, from morning until early afternoon, there are at least a handful that approach this level of professionalism.

I was disgusted, for example, at the language used during Modern Lifestyles (PBS) - not because of the four-letter words, but because it probably contained more English and Anglicised words than Maltese ones - even when the vernacular caters well for simple words such as colour, belt, lace, leather and so on.

If the people who produce it have chosen an English title, they might as well write the script in that language, rather than the bastardised Maltese we get.

Meanwhile, one cannot help but read between the lines in what is contained in the Malta Broadcasting Authority report, for 2007, hot off the press. Suffice to say that despite the fact that One's Tele Tubi is off the air, and that Gizelle glorified incest, TVM - the Station of the Nation - is on the way to the Hat-trick (two out of three) Award in the Contraventions competition.

Of course we can always chalk this down to an "I told you so!" by the editorial board to the board of directors, considering last year's debacle. But this does not take into account what happened the previous year.

About the only positive thing that has transpired is that PBS is no longer in the position of the baby in Solomon's story. There is hope for TVM, when, in the life of the minister responsible for it, two numbers coincide.

May I humbly suggest that the newscasters and commentators and self-styled opinion-makers at PBS be allowed to express themselves without fear of censure? After all, they might as well be hauled before the BA if they want their workplace to achieve the afore-mentioned award.

Who knows, the Malta Television Awards might also this year include a category for the Most Outspoken Personality in Audio-Visual Journalism. I would say that the BA has given up on Net and One, because as things stand, these two stations get away with innuendo and insults and half-truths every day.

This week saw the demise of Malta's best-known magician, Von Fred. Many children - including his successor Vanni Pulè - used to skip doctrine lessons to watch him perform on Matilde Balzan's programmes.

I caught up with her this week, and asked her for a quote: "He was always on the lookout for ways to make the kids participate in his tricks. He enjoyed the look on their faces when they thought that they had been behind his sleight-of-hand tricks. He was one in a million; and I think that this type of activity would infuse a different kid of interest in children's programmes." Hint, hint.

television@timesofmalta.com