Database cleaners

She went, she saw, and she conquered. But that is not all I am going to say about the caboodle that also goes by the name of the Eurovision Song Contest.

Ken Bruce, who does the commentary for Eurovision on BBC  Radio 2, suggested only half in jest that Europe ought to be spilt right down the Danube.

This would be the golden opportunity to have not one, but two contests - the Eastern European Song Contest and a Western European Song Contest.

I see things differently; since there will now be a contest in which countries from the Middle East and North Africa will participate, why don't we venture south instead? Incidentally, Israel is not mentioned with this latter lot of countries... which could well be the reason, or excuse, for us to take part in this latter spree. Am I talking Turkey?

Jo Zette puts it all into perspective when 'she' says: "Oh, I was so disappointed for our darling Morena. From my experience it takes a winner to come back smiling from such an experience; and I'm sure she is smiling."

Meanwhile, when I was preparing my Eurovision blog, I contacted Dr Derek gatherer, who reiterated the list he had given to the BBC compiling those countries he believed would qualify from the second semi-final, viz: Ukraine, Hungary, Turkey, Bulgaria, Sweden, Belarus, Georgia, Latvia and Macedonia.

About the first semi-final, Dr Gatherer had told me: Last night I got seven correct. I was wrong about Moldova and Belgium, who I said would qualify but didn't. Although bloc votes are a strong predictor, they aren't everything, and a strong song can still do reasonably well (e.g. Israel and Norway who also qualified). Like them, Malta may still have a chance if the song has wide appeal.

The countries that actually did qualify are: Ukraine, Croatia, Albania, Iceland, Georgia, Denmark, Sweden, Latvia, Turkey, and Portugal. This gives him a result akin to the probability factor in the Zener Cards experiment.

Meanwhile, the Broadcasting Authority has published the listenership and viewership statistics for the outgoing schedule... No sooner had the virtual ink dried on the PC monitors that the calculators were out. People involved in the media in one way or another have been crunching numbers and sending e-mails to highlight their position in the polls, or how their track record has improved, or how a particular programme has garnered the station brownie points.

Statistics will never impress me. And neither will any claptrap based upon them.

Past Master of Broadcasting, Sir Michael Parkinson, has been appointed OAP Champ, or in less colloquial terms, a "dignity ambassador" in a campaign to encourage more respect for older people in care. The campaign wants more nurses and volunteers to be "dignity champions" and treated the elderly in care homes with more respect.

He decided to become Dignity Ambassador after watching his mother die last year. He said: "I saw a mixture of indifference and wonderful nursing and it seems to me that there's a need for a cultural change among the people who have these old people in care.

Having just endured a very similar experience, I can fully endorse what he feels. Empty words mean less than nothing; it is obscene to blame "the system".

Incidentally, Parky will be returning to TVM this summer - that, at least, is a miniscule part of the schedule that is known.

Meanwhile, it came as a shock to some, and as a relief perhaps tinged with spiteful glee to others, that the Prime Minster has rejected the proposed plans for PBS premises, which had been presented to the employees in glorious Technicolor 3d (well, almost), and was supposed to have become operational as for last year.

I could never understand why this Lego-like construction is considered a "quality modern architecture"; and bay-windowed façades are demolished to make way for flats. This is the first time ever a government application has been aborted by the Prime Minister, since he assumed responsibility for a reform at Mepa.

I would prefer to think that the stay of execution came around because the place is, after all, a slice of history. So how about keeping the façade, and the outer shell, if needs must, and reconstructing it all from the inside?

One notes that the Broadcasting Authority has turned its sights on community radios too, in its attempt to streamline local broadcasting to perfection. The assorted reasons for why these have been hauled over the coals include not keeping a log tape; surreptitious (and overt!) advertising and contravening other advertising regulations, broadcasting national news, and also a newspaper review.

The latter two infringements, by themselves, necessitate the overhauling of regulations pertaining to Community Broadcasting. For what are they, if not a service to a Community that is disgusted by the fare offered by the Big Ones, and protests with its ears?

television@timesofmalta.com