The future of football

Flicking through the channels on the television the other night I happened upon an interesting little programme on one of the Discovery channels.

Essentially it was a short feature on the robot world cup - Robocup - where teams of mechanised players compete on a little pitch in an event that is both fascinating and comical in equal measure.

The robots' owners are not allowed to operate them remotely so basically they stick the bots on the pitch and see where their microchips take them.

Thanks to clever programming and lots of sensors they do actually manage to play a little football. Players pass, goalkeepers dive and the tackles are like watching slow motion car crashes.

Sadly, the robotic game is hampered by fact that the technology has not reached sufficient levels to make the match free flowing. It's all very stunted and jerky and the rare moments of excitement are punctuated by long spells of boredom. A bit like watching Chelsea play, come to think of it.

But the really interesting part is that these sporty scientists have set themselves a goal - to build a robotic football team that is capable of beating the human World Cup champions by 2050.

When you watch the whirring, clanking hunks of metal lumbering around the pitch it is hard to imagine than in just 42 years they expect to be able to assemble a robotic Ronaldo.

But history has taught us that scientists are a determined bunch and, when they set their minds to something, they normally achieve their goals.

The problem they have, apparently, is not so much the mechanics. Humanoid robots are already pretty well advanced and four decades should be plenty of time to refine them into fully flexible football machines.

No. The main problem, according to the experts, comes in developing the Artificial Intelligence needed to be a world class footballer. And I can understand the difficulties.

I mean getting a robot to calculate what is the best pass available and where to aim a shot should be easy. As should teaching it to save penalties and tackle without maiming. All basic calculations that their super-powered electronic brains should be able to make in milliseconds.

But how on earth are they going to programme these mechanical players to dive, fake injury and abuse referees? How are they going to make them demand over-inflated wages, drive flash cars and speak like they dropped out of school at the age of six?

An Artificial Intelligence challenge of the highest proportions.

Iron Mike goes soft

Am I the only one who finds the idea of Mike Tyson getting together with Paul Gascoigne terrifying?

The boxing legend this week offered to meet up with the football legend and offer him counselling and advice as Gazza bids to overcome his personal problems.

Somehow a paranoid alcoholic with a love of mischief getting lifestyle tips from a convicted rapist with drug problems just doesn't sound like a recipe for success.

It's like China being given a lecture on modern democracy by Robert Mugabe.

Time for Arsenal to get nasty

Over the years I have become a big admirer of Arsene Wenger. Not only has he achieved unparalleled success at Arsenal, but he has done so without compromising his belief that football should be a joy to behold. With the obscene amount of money that is washing around the modern game, many managers have sacrificed watch ability in pursuit of success and the riches that go with it.

Arsene has steadfastly refused to subscribe to this point of view. His teams have always played football of the highest order, pleasing to the eye and with the entertainment of the fans at its very core.

Yes there has been plenty of success over his decade in charge of the London club, but it has always been balanced against his belief that it should be achieved the right way. This season, however, I think the pendulum may have swung a little bit too far in favour of beauty over substance.

His young Arsenal team have thrown away their season not through a lack of ability or skill but through an inability to win uglily.

There are times when you don't need 37 passes to take a shot on goal. There are occasions when you do need to pump a long ball up to your strikers. There are moments when kicking the ball into row Z is infinitely more effective than trying to play your way out of a defensive situation.

Unfortunately Arsene's principles and beliefs don't allow for these occasions. His players are trained to play perfect football and that doesn't always work against teams that set out to deliberately stop you doing just that.

If Wenger is serious when he says his young Gunners can win trophies soon then he may have to compromise on his beliefs just a little bit.

Principles are fine things but, at the end of the day, they don't fill trophy cabinets.

Your say

Don't get me wrong, I love hearing from you all. Even those of you who think I am a nutter. But do you think you could possibly keep your letters a little shorter? Space constraints mean many won't get published unless you paraphrase. In the meantime here is just an excerpt from the only one we have space for:

"...Now, the second point which got my heart racing was your column about Cristiano Ronaldo and Fernando Torres. Arguably the stars of this year's campaign, your observation on the two stars at times was misguided and false. First of all you cannot compare them simply because of their positions, and you definitely can't give the vote of best player in the world because of their attitudes, otherwise by using that philosophy Paolo Maldini or Bobby Charlton would have won the award a dozen times each. I'm obviously a bit biased towards Ronaldo, but make no mistake about the way I view Torres. The latter is the complete package in terms of a centre forward.

"(You said) that he is performing just as well as Ronaldo this season despite playing in an inferior team, for example. That was the cherry on the cake.

I would like to ask you how you arrived to your hypothesis of calling Liverpool an inferior side?

I don't think any Inter, Milan or Arsenal fans concurred with this theory seeing as they were eliminated by this 'inferior' side.

"They have reached the semi-final stages of Europe's elite competition three times in the last four years, proceeding to two finals and winning one of them. Naturally, I'm more prone to berating and criticising our great rivals, but give credit where credit is due. Yes, they have not performed as well in the league as expected, but their time will come.

"So far Ronaldo has netted 38 goals this season. Those 38 goals have come in every possible manner. Stunning free-kicks, penalties, headers, volleys, tap-ins, back flicks, you name it.

Naturally, we aren't taking into consideration the goals that he has set up. I agree at times the things he does can provoke an opponent and his arrogance should not be considered as a minus to his game but as a massive plus. I'm sure you remember a certain French footballer by the name of Eric Cantona. His arrogance used to border on the appalling, but this is a gift.

"Some of the greatest players in the world possessed this 'arrogance' - Cruyff, Best, Maradona, Pele, Zidane... all of them ridiculed their opponents purely because of their talent.

You might view the things Ronaldo does as trying to intimidate opponents, but you try telling that to 100,000 people at the Camp Nou when Ronaldinho slices open a defence with one single pass while looking in the opposite direction. Is that arrogance? To an opposing player - definitely. To a football fan we refer to it as finesse."

Adam Calleja Urry, e-mail

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com