The joy of sharing noise

The problem of noise in Malta falls under the responsibility of the police, the courts and the Malta Standards Authority. Any excessive and undesirable noise people make around you may thus be reported to the relevant authorities - which will deal with the noisy offender silently but effectively.

There was once in Malta a Noise Abatement Society and The Times was often a hospitable medium for members' and sympathisers' complaints. Letter writers at the time tended to use more elegant Christian language than nowadays - and these included self-controlled ladies and gentlemen exasperated at the various sources of high decibels in their towns and villages. Reference was made to the correlation between noise and naïveté, noise and geography or both variables coexisting with noise. Thus, one may be boisterous because one is Latin or Semitic. One may also be explosive because one is a native of the Mediterranean region. Of course, one may be noisy without being ignorant although noise and ignorance often hug warmly.

The Malta Noise Abatement Society members often had a good level of education - which is nowadays ignored, as judgement is superior. I suppose that many of them also liked to read good books or listen to soft music in a peaceful, serene atmosphere. They regularly explained that noise was harmful physically and psychologically. The MNAS, alas, exists no more. Theirs was an idealistic voice in the desert and often they were bullied by intolerant, undemocratic persons hollering for human rights outside their Tartuffian intimacy.

Among the most dangerous sources of noise in Malta there are the horrible petards. They exist for a very simple reason. The exploding of petards by ecstatic individuals is a psychological need. Before I am misunderstood, I must say that lovers of earth-shaking fireworks are not necessarily incomplete in their emancipated department. Indeed, you may be ecstatic without being idiotic although, to others, you may be problematic. I would also submit that lovers of violent noise are obsessively convinced that, not only their din is full of pleasure, but that they must absolutely share that pleasure with others. (Here one must also include excessive bell-ringing, mobile discos in cars, neighbours with altruistic crescendos etc.)

If the noise of manic petardisation (if you will excuse the unusual justified expression) did not go beyond nerve wracking, ear-drum piercing and baby scaring, perhaps a slight amount of tolerance could be employed to ignore it. However, fireworks in Malta have killed or maimed many people who were willing to take the mortal risk and involve their family and neighbours in their enjoyable risk-taking.

I believe that all that is done to control this danger is justified. It saves lives and reduces noise.

Internal meritocracy

Some time before the election, I had a telephone call from one of the charming ladies of the Robert Arrigo campaign team. (Where does he find those charming lady organisers?) It was one of those "chat-with-ex-Nat" affairs. I must have been a little abrupt with the lady - thinking at first she was the mermaid called Bint Laaden who gave altruistic advice against her own interests. My short-lived abrupt mood could have been the result of an energetic letter to the editor I had just read and which contained 20 exclamation marks, 50 dots in dotted lines and a dozen hysterical adjectives in just six lines. It reminded me of linguistic advice from an expert of maritime English who is remonstrantly opposed to exclamation marks - as they are tall and slim. The Arrigo lady was not ruffled by my argumentative language and she remained calm, witty and serene. (Where does Mr Arrigo find those calm, witty and serene lady collaborators?) The interesting lady and I chatted for quite some time and the conclusion was that we would remain best friends.

Later, this event, well let's not be bombastic, this conversation came back to my mind as one of the themes discussed was meritocracy. I have seen the good, sorry excellent, results of Mr Arrigo's election efforts but I have also realised that he could have received better treatment during the distribution of ministerial roles after some ex-ministers were dismissed by a cold, dry SMS. A Nat friend of mine (not Bint Laaden) told me that votes and popularity are not enough for the ministerial choices of the Prime Minister. He added that suitability was also very important. To which I retorted: "Are you saying that Mr Arrigo is not suitable to be a minister or at least a parliamentary secretary?" He replied: "I am not saying that" but did not say what he was indeed saying. I realised that some submissive people accept any ceremonious officialdom, believing that disagreeing energetically is rebellion. Not true at all. It simply shows courage and self-respect.

Tourism's share

Tourism is one of Malta's largest industries and many were surprised that its share of the Cabinet was only that of a parliamentary secretary. True, Mario de Marco will do his best to promote tourism and, coming from a very intelligent Maltese family, he will probably go a long way in succeeding. At the same time, one of the most sensitive areas of the Maltese economy deserves both a minister and a parliamentary secretary.

Fact and fiction

A far right hags' prayer meeting convened to discuss fact and fiction. The convener shrieked that she was Christian but hated pretty women and men who don't like scarecrows. The socio-political nature of the angry words were evident and only provoked smiles in those who knew not how to go beyond the surface. The guest speaker, a reformed witch doctor, stood up and silence reigned, as the assembly listened in awe. The patronising preacher - who had come to Malta to civilise us as we know nothing - solemnly declared that people, places and events did not belong to reality but to fiction. And there was great applause, as the assembly was impressed by the contradictory logorrhoea. Perhaps the individual was just a poor henpecked soul seeking refuge in any den offering him an admiring smile out of sympathy. In return he delivered truckloads of bull clover.

Bags

(I mean the plastic ones.) Many people agree with the placing of the Environment Department under a different ministry. However, every new measure must take citizens' hardship into consideration. When the waste separation at source system was set up, the structure trusted with its organisation delivered bags at people's homes. Now it seems as if the bags have to be collected from local councils. I believe that this is not progress at all but an increase in hardship for senior citizens. These have to go regularly to the local council whatever their age and state of health. Surely a new measure must not be accompanied by new discomfort for people.

Dr Licari teaches psycholinguistics, sociolinguistics and geolinguistics at the Department of French of the University of Malta.