Before I started writing this blog, I did some push ups, made myself a cup of coffee and searched the meaning of Gentleman in the dictionary. Turns out a gentleman is a “man of chivalrous manners and good breeding: a man of good social position, man of wealth and leisure” all well and good. Might I add that very few of this male specimen make themselves known to my presence, as I’m known to attract the type that’s easy on the eye ...but knows it, plays mind games galore and also those who ceremoniously dump me when the relationship entails way too much effort. But that’s another story…

Do all men live up to the ‘gentleman’ title? You see it sprawled across loo doors in pubs and you wonder whether the guys walking in after one too many pints are still deserving of that title!!

The one that really cracks me up though is the “Gentlemen’s Club”, they’re become pretty rife around the island and promise a night with ‘Heaven’s Angels.’ I just love the description, the clubs’ atmosphere is actually more reminiscent to what would’ve gone on in Sodom and Gomorra and SO NOT Heaven but I guess that’s what marketing strategies are all about. Who wants to sit around eating fairy dust and playing a harp all day anyway?

So you thought I was having a nasty good ol’ b**** about men!? I can’t say I always live up to the ‘lady’ title myself. Manners, composure and etiquette ain’t quite my forte! Don’t get me wrong, I am SO the girl you take home to your mum, I can hold a conversation about anything under the sun, help out with the dishes after lunch without nagging, totally stick an hour of my partner’s grandmother relate the hardships of war and I know which fork and knife to use while dining at a POSH place! Hehehe.

What is ‘lady’ like behaviour anyway, I ask myself? Does ‘one’ say “I’m going to powder my nose” instead of “I really need to take a piss” or does ‘one’ gently retain gas or shamelessly parp on the sofa whilst watching telly? Dilemma? Not really, I know which of the above I’d go for.

I was once dating a man who wanted me to pipe down the swear words, as he was of the opinion that the ‘F’ word cropped up way too many times during our conversations. My attire was also a cause of concern apparently, so I slowly started ‘trying’ to conform to the stereotypical high maintenance look. (The Cropped barnet and pink lights weren’t in any way helping might I add) The last straw was him pointing out the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ OVERDONE flicked look as a style that would ‘become’ me. That was when I thought, the only way I’d ever want to be a ‘lady’ was if …I lived in my own manor, had tons of jewels and rode horses.

Otherwise I’d rather be the tomboy that I am, down at the pub having a laugh with the boys…..please note, not ‘gentlemen’!

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