Matthew vella, Sliema.
Finding one's identity
I was born in Australia, my parents are Maltese as were their parents and their parents' parents... you get the idea. I'm first generation Australian which is very difficult. There is a sense of not knowing where you belong. I slowly lost the passion that I know I was born with, and I want it back! I was brought up in a Maltese household in a foreign country setting the foundations for the man I would become. I inherited the morals and values of generations before me including strength to fight for what I believe in. I get this from both my grandmothers, beautiful strong women who loved their families dearly.
After years of not fitting in I moved to Malta, Why? I never felt at ease, I was constantly reminded that I wasn't really Australian. I would have to agree. My blood is Maltese. I wanted to be in Malta and I wanted to see if Malta wanted me.
I've lived in Malta for over a year now. Each day I feel more comfortable, I am beginning to understand who I am. The Maltese help me with this. The other day I was doing some work at home and literally broke my hammer! I was walking the streets of Valletta in vain looking for a place to buy one. Walking up Merchants Street looking a little forlorn and defeated in the rain with only a T-shirt, a man approached me, "Aren't you cold?" Surprised at first, I replied that I didn't even realise and told him the story. He turned in the opposite direction and told me to follow him. We went back to his house and he handed me his hammer saying, "I don't know you at all but I have a good feeling about you, whenever you're ready just bring it back".
There have been three changes in Malta since I moved here: the euro changeover, the unfortunate occurrence of soft drinks coming in plastic bottles (Coke tastes better in a glass bottle) and the election. I familiarised myself with the contesting parties so I felt mildly informed of the issues. I attended my first mass meeting a couple of weeks ago; what an experience! All the emotion and passion of the Maltese people pours out, like an excuse to show who they are and what they're made of. I was caught up in the situation, my eyes darting from one place to another, each person cheering, dancing, and singing the same tune. When the party leader entered the stage, the crowd erupted in a way which still gives me shivers. This doesn't happen in the place I grew up.
Is it an excuse to party? Maybe, but I think the Maltese have faith, it is part of them to believe in something. This fierce loyalty to a political party brings an element of mystery to elections. I am no expert on Maltese politics but as an outsider looking in, it was obvious whom I would support. This party had refined policies and a thought-out vision. Their leader is well spoken and he knew how to reinforce a point and make the crowd erupt in a ferocious roar.
Months ago it appeared a landslide victory for Labour. Did Labour lose the election? Or did the Nationalists win it? All I know is that Lawrence Gonzi stepped up and somehow managed to convince a passionate and dedicated people that he was the man for the job. He turned a landslide Labour win into a narrow Nationalist Party victory. Not a small feat, especially in Malta. I believe in this politician, I believe he has the future of his country and its people at heart.
I love this island and I would fight for it. I never knew where I belonged but I feel I can belong here. I hope in time I can be accepted. As Dr Gonzi stated, we need to pull our sleeves up and work together. I will work with you and I am sure others will. Make Malta a place future generations will be proud of. This is your start Dr Gonzi, you fought for this win. Make it count.
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John Louis Cassar
Mar 17th 2008, 10:27
Hi Matt,
I too am Australian born of Maltese parents. I live life in Australia knowing that my roots are Maltese and I have travelled to Malta four times to explore my family history and the place of birth of my wonderful father(dec) and mother. I have watched Malta develop since my first visit in 1985 and then in 1987, 2004 and 2006. The changes have been unbelievable and for the better. In time the mentality of some will improve.
I live in Australia knowing that this is the country of my birth but my heart is red and white. I would like to live in Malta but my wife will not agree to this. Comparing the two nations one must admit that you can not compare the two but there is something that is unique about Malta and it is probably the cohesiveness of the society. Remember, the population size is small and probably has something to do with this. The richness of the history of Malta is something that white Australia cannot have. For this I am proud.
There is nothing wrong in feeling the way you do but may be the yearning for Australia may return. Time will tell! For the mean time, follow your heart.
Charlie Attard
Mar 15th 2008, 05:16
Hi Matt, I was born and bred in the great city of Valletta ... I spent half my life in Malta and the other over here. I never ever felt that I am anything else but Maltese and a litle bit of an Australian. The Maltese blood will take hundreds of years to be transfused into anything else!! I miss Malta a lot ... yet when in Malta I still miss Australia in other ways. Our Children will carry with them always that trace of Maltese heritage no matter how far down the family tree. The reason that you feel the way you do, perhaps is due to the Howardism doctrine which we had for the past eleven years .. a doctrine of division and politics which preyed on the fear of others. A Howardism which made the proudest Australian to feel very Un-Australian. And having said that I heard many saying now ..we can again feel proud to be Australian ......... now that John Howard is just a ghost and only in the mind and heart of George Bush !!
Jill RIch
Mar 14th 2008, 18:54
I've spent the last three years trying to figure all this out myself. My mother is Maltese, my father American and I was brought up in a very American home.
Three years ago, my mother and I visited Malta, my first time, only her second in the forty years since she left. I had no idea how many "Maltese" things my mother had unintentionally taught me. Meeting family for the first time and walking the same streets she did with her mother deeply moved me. It has helped me to understand her better and hopefully myself. It has also opened up many questions about Maltese culture and my own “maltese-ness.”
As I have discussed this with my mom, one thing occurred to me. So many people have adopted the Irish culture (not just around St. Patrick’s day). Many of whom have no Irish heritage or ancestry. Does genetics dictate where “home” is or is it a just a personal preference? Though I grew up in the Mid-West, I know I could never feel at home living in Illinois again. I love Virginia and Southern culture. I love biscuits and gravy, yummy desserts and even grits. I especially love my southern husband.
I am curious if I would “fit in” as you have. I hope one day to have the opportunity to visit or perhaps live there. Best wishes in finding your identity.
Saviour Sammut
Mar 14th 2008, 16:35
How about Mr Martinelli would follow suit and come to his homeland and bear the fruits or sour grapes of good or bad governance that we who live here have to endure rather than pontificate to us from yonder about how superb are the nationalist bedfellows and how horrendous whoever crticizes them should be.
Dave Farrugia
Mar 14th 2008, 16:18
Hey Matthew, I'm the complete opposite. I migrated here by my parents years back, who like yours are both maltese born and have maltese backgrounds. Even after living here in Malta for so many years I still feel that I don't belong, but belong back in Australia. I see the way my family are and I don't act/feel the same way, yet I feel more like an outcast in a way and my roots have remained in Australia. I do intend on moving back eventually but when the time is right. Malta is a beautiful island but it can get a little too cosy sometimes and even though my family live the maltese way of life, I myself have always felt differently. Australia is calling and as stated earlier, I shall go back to MY roots one day.
Jim Ryan
Mar 14th 2008, 14:46
I am somewhat dismayed with this story as I'm sure many Maltese citizens who successfully emigrated to Australia or Canada would be, It sounds like this person is using his failures to fit in and believes he is of a higher standard than others because he has faith, morals and values.
There are thousands of Maltese people living in Canada and Australia with these same qualities working hard to contribute to their new countries. And many of them will never return to Malta. My wife and mother in law returned to Malta after many successful years in Canada.
After 7 months the mother in law has left in disgust and my wife is having second thoughts of her own. If you are born or raised in a country, that is your country regardless of your ancestry. Australia is not a foreign country to you. It is your birthplace and you are Australian. Deal with it.
Alan Day
Mar 14th 2008, 14:29
Did you give the man his hammer back?
Joe Martinelli
Mar 14th 2008, 14:17
What a treat to have someone like Matthew embrace his roots and leave a continent he was born in and opt to live in a tiny nation of his forefathers thousands of miles away from his birthplace!
I am glad, Matthew that you are settling in quite nicely and I have no doubt that you will fast become a valuable citizen of our great State.
Jason Scerri
Mar 14th 2008, 13:35
Welcome home mate!