I.M. Beck - quote unquote

Even though he can't even organise an outing to Magħtab without forgetting a pretty obvious thing like getting clearance to visit a closed site, this didn't stop Alfred Sant from letting it be known from on high that it (Magħtab) will be a nifty place in which to site a golf course.

Now in matters golfing, I have to say, I am as qualified, if not more so, than the dear fellow, and I have to remark that this idea of his bears as much chance of bearing fruit as, you might say, the trees that are struggling to gain a footing on Mount M.

This is not to say that you can't put a golf course there, of course. Of course (that's three courses, one more than Dr Sant is planning) you can, but you're going to have to chuck oodles and oodles of euros at it and when you've finished doing that, you're going to have to chuck even more. That's because you have to level out the ground (not even the Tiger can play golf on a 35-degree incline) and you have to make sure the noxious gasses that must be under there are dissipated and then you have to make sure the whole shebang is financially viable.

Which means you're going to have to give a private developer an incentive to come in and put his money where your mouth is, Dr Sant, and the only incentive that works is letting said developer develop villas and other attractive propositions. Because, you see, dear Dr Sant, charging people a couple of dozen euros to have a round or two isn't about to amortise this little investment, not in an aeon of Sundays.

And can you imagine the furore that the various interested parties will kick up if we're suddenly going to have a whole slew of villas springing up all along the Coast Road, to say nothing of all the bees that will be trying to stick their noses into this particular honey pot!

That's another fine mess you'll have gotten us into, Alfio, always assuming that you don't change your mind, again. And again. And again.

Go on, tell us

You'll have read, I trust, my blog on the electronic version of this estimable rag and you'll have given some thought to the train of reasoning I put into motion therein, that is to consider which of the two leaders is fit to lead this country onwards and upwards.

Which is presumably the direction in which both of them want us to go, though, given past Labour administrations, this has not always been a given.

Let's reprise a bit of what I mulled over electronically, shall we? Truth be told, I'm getting moderately confused on the timing of all this, because deadline considerations for the paper version of the paper mean I have to write on Wednesday evening, and as I write, the blog I despatched hasn't yet come up on the portal, though I know what I've written, so I can look back, virtually.

OK, that was meant to be a bit convoluted, hope you enjoyed it.

One of the main attributes of a Prime Minister, when you're assessing which of the candidates is the better able to don the mantle, is a certain clarity of thought. For better or for worse, and frankly, it's been for better, Lawrence Gonzi's aims and methods are pretty clear. On the other hand, Dr Sant has, not to put too fine a point on it, been obfuscation personified.

Don't believe me - there's no reason why you should - just take him at his word. Have a read of the interview he gave to The Sunday Times. Question: How are you going to finance the slash in the surcharge? "Out of the national budget" (or words to that effect, I couldn't be fagged to check) But how? "Out of the national budget." What about if the price of oil rockets (again)? "We've promised to halve the surcharge and we will" But how? "Out of the ....", well, you get the point.

Now, to my mind, "out of the national budget" means out of the government's revenue and where, children, does the big bad government get its revenue? Yes, that's right, from your taxes and mine, that's where, from income tax and from VAT. Some bright spark worked out that it will take a two per cent hike in VAT to make up for the surcharge slash, so it's soon going to be swings and roundabouts time, or, to put it differently, robbing me to pay me.

During the same interview, Dr Sant was given the chance to give us chapter and verse about that tired old war horse, corruption. Now, I've no doubt that there is corruption in Malta - why should we be any different from anywhere else? Dr Sant, however, was unable (or unwilling) to give concrete evidence, preferring to respond that "everyone knows about it".

Is this the standard of evidence on which he will be relying, instead of letting the police do their job? What's next, trial by people's courts or something, where rumour and innuendo and snide allegation will do the job Dr Sant was unable to do, both in 1996 and in 2008?This having been said, I've no doubt that with a few days to go before the poll, some great scandal will erupt, conveniently timed to be impossible to contradict effectively. You read it here first, folks.

Time and a half and a bit

What's this story about no income tax on overtime? Sounds like a plan, don't you think? Yes, well, I seem to remember a plan to remove VAT way back in 1996 and the way that particular cookie crumbled meant that we removed the V and the A and stuck on a C and an E instead, which got us absolutely nowhere fast. What's the betting that overtime will suddenly become an hour-for-hour earner, rather than time-and-a-half or double?

After all, in what seems to be a clear breach of the law, Super One employees are apparently already getting royally rooked when they work overtime, because, with what we're told is the acquiescence of the GWU, they get paid straight time.

Presumably, the law only applies if you're not employed by the Malta Labour Party.

School's out

Another of Dr Sant's policies, clearly, it now seems, as well thought out as all the rest (perhaps it got caught in the computer, like their manifesto) is this idea that kids should be kept in school for an extra year: never mind that anyone with a slight grasp of matters educational thinks it's a crock.

Such was the chorus of disapproval that threatened to raise the roof that during Bondiplus last Monday, Dr Sant pulled a u-turn that must have threatened to give him whiplash. Out of the window went the wheeze, for all the world as if it had been an idea chucked into the mix during a brain-storming session rather than a main plank in the MLP's educational policy. And if it is rammed down the throats of government-school pupils, well, if the private schools don't want it, they needn't have it, and the national curriculum and any notions of a unified educational system will be treated as silly little inconveniences.

It's little wonder that Sapiano fellow, who had the dubious pleasure of opposing Dr Sant on Bondiplus, got a bit snappy with him: the way he shifts about must be pretty exasperating.

What a way to treat your children's future: combine this with George Vella's rant against those nasty vulgar students who dared, fascists that they are, to oppose the words of The Great Leader and if you weren't worrying about the future of education under Labour, you'd better start. And if your kids are past school age, but about to invest in their first house, beware Greeks bearing gifts, though for Greeks substitute the MLP. That fine sounding "grant" they're touting in an attempt to seduce you to vote for them is nothing but a thinly-disguised loan, repayable in a lump sum when you sell the property on.

He's off somewhere

A couple of days after the election, the Prime Minister will be heading off somewhere (I think it's Lisbon, but I could be - and probably am - wrong) to meet up with the rest of the EU's leaders to discuss matters of great pith and moment.

Who the Prime Minister will be, as at the time of writing is (duh) unknown, but, in the immortal words of "Yes Minister", a (Prime) Minister there will be.

If it is Dr Sant, as half the country dearly wishes it will be, then I really would love to be a fly on the wall when European Prime Minister after European Prime Minister after European Prime Minister takes him gently to one side and whispers in his shell-likes: "Listen, Alfie mate, whatever you rammed down your electorate's gullet, you ain't going to re-negotiate your terms of membership. Read my lips, dear boy, it's not going to happen".

What price European Socialist solidarity then, I ask you?

Fit for purpose

Well, there you have it. You and I and a couple of hundred thousand others are going to have the opportunity to do the math, consider the considerations, mull over the runes, read the tea leaves and generally have a bit of a think about who we want to run our lives for the next few years.

Which of the two is fit for the purpose? It's up to you.

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