So you binged on food and drink. How desperate are you now? Perhaps you have joined the gym, and are paying a membership for an activity you know you will never really continue, although, the intention was there. Perhaps you joined weight watchers, again, only to find an excuse not to go to the weekly meetings after a month, or perhaps you are scanning the book stores to find that wonder diet among the masses of new books on the shelves in 2008. I've got news for you; this year is no different to any other year regarding the plethora of diet books on the market. Probably the most obvious difference is they have become more ridiculous, and more imaginative than previous years. I don't mean that in a beneficial way; it is actually quite sad, as people who see a commercial opportunity to make some money are jumping on the bandwagon and offering the most unbelievable solutions to losing weight. I look at them individually throughout the year, however, there are so many on the shelves, or available via the internet, I have decided to force feed you with an overdose of diet books.This year you will be spoiled for choice ? titles include The Lemon Juice Diet, The 21st Century is Making you Fat, The No-Crave Diet, and even The Woman's Health Perfect Body Diet.
An interesting point to note this year is the creativity put into the titles of these books, it surpasses all previous years.
Neris and India's Idiot-proof Diet
by India Knight and Neris ThomasThe authors quite clearly state at the beginning "...here is another diet book... none of the usual qualifications for writing one... we're not doctors or nutritionists, we don't have a DVD to sell... so why are we writing it?" They go on to answer this question by stating that they have lost 10 stone between them and they are extremely well connected within the media. I think that is a very clever piece of marketing and almost certain to catch the readers. In fact the readers' comments about this book amused me. The majority of them praised the authors for a sensible book, compatible with a busy working mum lifestyle, other comments were that it offered good, practical help, and felt that it hit a nerve in dealing with the issues we all face and which lead us to overeating. Every reader who had read it, and followed the diet correctly, seemed to have lost weight. Alternatively there were those who felt the authors were "jumping on the bandwagon", that it wasn't safe, and found the comments irritating. Definitely a book of personal choice, it is based on experience and may be a breath of fresh air due to its amusing anecdotes. Whatever use it can be to you the two authors are really pumping the system. I have seen three magazine interviews already where they tell all - I am just waiting for the television chat shows!
Michael Winner's Fat Pig Diet
by Michael WinnerThe outspoken Michael Winner of stage, screen and, latterly, restaurant critic fame, promises that on his diet you can eat ice cream, cakes, sugar, potatoes and everything else that is supposed to be fattening. His claim is that he lost over three stone and kept it off. The method is that you just eat less; his system was to eat only a third of what was on his plate in a restaurant. A professor of medical psychology who reviewed the book stated that the human psyche needs a bit more than a simple statement "Eat less", he felt it was likely to result in guilt-induced failure. What I want to know is whether this book was written before, or after, Mr Winner fell foul of a serious illness he contracted when abroad which almost killed him and sent his body weight down to that of a concentration camp victim!
How to Get a Celeb's Body
by Elise LindsayThe author is a fitness trainer, coincidentally the personal trainer of Coleen McLoughlin, girlfriend of Manchester United foortballer Wayne Rooney. Consequently, the foreword is written by Ms McLoughlin herself. One of the reviews about this book describes it as the "most preposterous book launch of the year, with its promise to spill the secrets of the stars and transform saggy, post-party-season bodies into the nubile-limbed physiques of the stars". The synopsis on Amazon's website supports this by asking: "Have you ever seen pictures of your favourite celebrities and thought 'I wish I could look that good?'" Of course it goes on to inform you that if you buy the book you can look just as fantastic with this guide to a fitter, healthier and slimmer you. Despite all this Ms McLoughlin went on to join Weight Watchers, and the author held "aerobarks" training classes for dogs at Crufts, where she declared "it's shameful that so many dogs are deprived of exercise...". Probably the only good point the author made was to speak out against size zero by stating that it isn't healthy to be a size zero.
Eat This, Not That!
by David Zinczenko with Matt GouldingThis book is aimed at a male readership (pity that is not reflected in the title!), in particular, the men who eat at fast food chains (well that will be the majority of males in Malta then!). It goes on to state that it is also aimed at the men who are totally clueless about nutrition (99 per cent?). The book's idea of a diet tip is to advise the reader to eat a Big Mac instead of a Whopper with Cheese. As it is a very colourful book with lots of pictures showing all the meals available in the fast food chains, it can't exactly be described as a healthy book. This is another example of jumping on the bandwagon of diet books, something that could take you from 300lbs to 280lbs, but leave you with a heart problem, weight problem and an early death!
Skinny Bitch in the Kitch
by Rory Freedman and Kim BarnouinWell that has got to be the winner of idiotic titles! Apparently it is the companion cookbook for skinny females, aimed at all would-be "babes". It seems to be the four-letter word diet book to be seen with (Victoria Beckham was seen with it tucked under her arm). It is the size zero guide to hell. Guidelines from the authors include "you cannot expect to keep eating the same s*** and expect to get skinny". I can't believe what is on the book shelves under the guise of diet books! No doubt someone will go out and buy it.
The Ultimate TEA Diet
by Mark 'Dr Tea' UkraThe author is the owner of the Tea Garden and Herbal Emporium, a shop in Los Angeles. It seems that the author believes that a cup of tea solves everything related to diets. It helps us lose weight, reduces our craving for sweets (why do people insist on having a biscuit or piece of cake with a cup of tea then?), suppresses our appetite, lowers our cholesterol, helps the body burn fat for energy, increases our insulin's effectiveness and so on. It seems that tea is the route to fitness and peace of mind. Apparently it soothes away stress too.
How to Eat Like a Hot Chick
by Jodi Lipper and Cerina VincentIt seems that this is the companion to Skinny Bitch in the Kitch, or maybe the authors are friends of the above. The difference is that it includes information about low self-esteem (known as LSE in the book). The authors advise you to stand up straight, whatever your weight is. Further advice includes avoiding fast food and tips on how to navigate the menu in Starbucks, the coffee shop to be seen in. The main advice here is how to get the readers to feel "hot" and get "hotter". So if you are menopausal better avoid the book then!
I hope you enjoy my reports of these books, it doesn't mean I endorse them, far from it. A healthy body comes from a healthy lifestyle and you don't need to buy a book to tell you how to live a lifestyle beneficial to your body and your longevity.
• Ms Borg is a member of the Guild of Health Writers in the UK, an association of journalists dedicated to providing accurate, broad-based information about health and related subjects to the public.