I.M. Beck - quote unquote

The campaign trundles on in a moderately civilised fashion and, consequently, enormous fun is hardly being had by all - well, almost all, anyway. Some of us who have to write about these things would rather have a fire-and-brimstone type experience, with plenty of shock horror to commit to immortality with our deathless prose.

I was struck, last Sunday, by Saviour Balzan's comment that the campaign is pretty darn boring - given his newspaper's penchant for the more excitable variety of journalism (which is what makes it an amusing read of a Sunday) you can understand his frustration.

For my own part, having lived through campaigns, sometimes up close and personal, that were somewhat more animated, I must say that I tend towards the "I'd rather be bored than thumped" school of thought. This having been said, it does make choosing what to write about slightly less easy, though frankly, this is one of those times when the column almost writes itself.

What I have been enjoying, though, is trawling through the comments on the stories (and blogs) that are appearing in The Times portal.

For instance, I just loved the one that told us all that internal MLP polls are showing a lead of 20,000 in favour of the MLP and that's why the PN are in a blue funk, for instance.

Leaving aside that, after 20 years in opposition, it's hardly surprising that Labour are feeling bullish about the election - and, truth be told, they probably have some justification - does anyone believe they really believe they're going to win by such a margin?

If they do, then their arrogance really does know no limits and it spurs me to demand of you, yes, you, the one who has been saying that she's going to vote AD because they've been trying so long, poor lambs, or you, who's going to not vote because the Nats are so arrogant, that you rethink your whole voting strategy.

Do you really want these people, who think they've already got it sewn up, in government? If so, vote for them, by all means; if not, well, then, you know what you need to do, and abstaining (however you do that) isn't it.

Incidentally, why doesn't Alfred Sant figure in the MLP campaign at all? What are they trying to do, eliminate him from the voters' consciousness or something? It's an interesting strategy, given that the PN campaign is exactly the opposite, but it really does make me wonder why they're doing that. Have the strategists twigged that he is not exactly their USP?

And the mouse roared, not

The AD's newest superhero, Carm Cacopardo, an old University acquaintance (even then - especially then - he had this erga omnes streak about him) struggled and strained and brought forth, well, not to put too fine a point on it, the result was more in the nature of a mouse making a slightly vulgar sound from the posterior than a lion roaring.

The Sant'Antin plant report was so long in the gestation, was the subject of so many teasers, that the world was waiting on hooks which were tenter-like in the extreme. This, we all expected, was to be the smoking gun that finally pinned Gonzi's government to the wall, the MepaGate to end all MepaGates. It was to signal the end, effectively, of the campaign, following which Gonzi would take the keys to Castille off his key-ring and hand them over to Sant, who would then traipse up the main steps, with Harry Vassallo doing a Richelieu in the background (and before HV reaches for a libel lawyer, by referring to the Cardinal it is to his power-behind-the-throne attributes that I am alluding, not anything negative).

Instead, we got an incomplete report that concludes with the immortal line "and, in the final analysis, the plant would probably have been sited there anyway" or words to that effect. The mortal sin of which George Pullicino was guilty, apparently, consisted in having a few meetings, like having a meeting ever achieved anything - and apparently, Mepa didn't consider an alternate site seriously enough to satisfy Mr Cacopardo.

And with this they want to maintain their whiter-than-white image, the alternates? Sorry, guys, you're becoming just like the big guys and this is not a compliment.

Effin' and blindin'

What a display of hypocrisy we had over Monday and Tuesday. I thought we had reached rock-bottom ages ago, but the admirers of the left have managed to sink even lower in their posturing and pretence, and they've even dragged the Journalists' Committee down with them, now.

The story, for anyone who has been inhabiting a patch of earth under a rock for the last few days, was that Daphne Caruana Galizia's youngest son, a gentleman of 19, thought it was appropriate to ask One TV's cameraman to indulge in what can be described as travel with an amorous inclination. This was after said cameraman had spent what must have seemed like hours with his instrument pointed at DCG, her sister and the youth in question.

This expletive seems to have intimidated and shocked the cameraman no end, such was the outpouring of dismay that became evident almost immediately. Apparently, young CG's choice words have persuaded a whole slew of voters to switch their vote from PN to MLP, because the appalling arrogance and general horridness of the Nationalists have now become clear for all to see.

If this wasn't a family newspaper, I'd invite the people who have been making this sort of remark to do what the cameraman was invited to do. This sort of robust reaction is exactly what annoying party activists-cum-journalists deserve.

And, while we're on the subject, why don't all the people who have been moved to comment about how vulgar the University students were when they failed to be impressed by Dr Sant's evasion of their questions and showed it by making a noise also please do what the cameraman was invited to do?

This is especially directed at the Labour Youth Forum, which saw fit, without even a trace of a tongue in their collective cheek, to call the students' way of expressing themselves "a serious threat to democracy". It is fascinating what a poor grasp of concepts which go beyond "viva l-Lejber, viva l-Lejber" organisations such as this have, to think that a few hundred students noisily disagreeing with an evasive and uninspiring politician constitute a threat to democracy.

Just for the elucidation of the denizens of the Left who think they have the slightest idea about what constitutes a "threat to democracy", I'd invite them to seek out the newspapers from the 1977-1987 era, with particular reference to the way University students were treated by the immediate predecessors of the heroes of the Forum. That was a serious threat to democracy, you poor deluded children, not the way your colleagues chose to behave.

I, for one, am proud that our University students have the freedom to jeer at Dr Sant or Josie Muscat or Dr Vassallo or Lawrence Gonzi or whoever they choose to jeer at and I'm proud to have done my little (really very little) bit to help this country get there when I was a student myself.

Burn it up

And meanwhile, real life also goes on, with cars belonging to BirdLife officials and volunteers being torched and denials of responsibility being made all over the place. At risk of being accused of stating the bleedin' obvious, did anyone think that the federation of conserving bird killers had resolved to commission a couple of thugs to do the deed and minute this in one of their council meetings, or something?

I'd go further and say that I am quite prepared to accept that the officials and council members of the FKNK are genuinely horrified at the cowardly crime and would dearly like the perpetrators brought to justice.

But, sadly for them, they can't put their hands on their hearts and swear that none of their hunting brethren were responsible. Just as they can't put their hands on their hearts and say that they haven't, in a really very tiny way, been slightly responsible for stoking the fires of resentment against the people who dare oppose bird-killing.

In this context, I'm told that I was the subject of quite a few jibes during some TV programme that the bird-killing fraternity puts up. Here and now I exempt any editor who would like to publish these bons mots from any civil or criminal responsibility for libel: please print them, so if appropriate I can sue any of the pro-bird-killers if they libelled me.

I need a free holiday off the backs of these types.

Of food

A few lines to remind us all that there are other things in life apart from politics and bird-killers: Last Friday, in the company of old and good friends, we had a rather fine meal at Zest, a place of which I have written before, an act I am glad to be able to reprise.

It was so enjoyable that we were there up to something like 2 a.m, which at my age is pretty much the crack of dawn.

And on Saturday, I ate half a cow, or so it felt, at Wiġi's, which was as good as I have reported it before to be. I am unable, sadly, to cover their performance with dessert, since this flippin' no-carb thing precludes me.

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