Like everyone else I enjoy a good laugh (or cry). The last one had me almost in hysterics. I am referring to Joe (Peppi) Azzopardi's Xarabank broadcast on PBS two Fridays ago. It dealt with Anġelik Caruana's visions of the Madonna - no, not the singing one who has a daughter named Lourdes - but the Lady the majority of us believe in and who has allegedly appeared in countless places around the world.
It seems that Mr Caruana's Madonna manifests herself in many places locally, as opposed to other apparitions like Fatima, Lourdes and Medjugorje, where Our Lady appeared in one place. According to Mr Caruana - (a very appropriate name, especially since he claims an angel serves him Holy Communion) - she allegedly shed tears of blood from a statue. This turned out to be his own blood. Next, oil was supposed to have been oozing from the same statue. This turned out to be cooking oil!
Following this, the glass protecting the statue was supposed to have shattered. The story continues... the devil now seems to take over and throws Mr Caruana around from one side to another of the street.Next, Our Lady decides to start appearing at Borġ in-Nadur, limits of Birżebbuġa.
He is also supposed to have conversations with her at the Marsa church during prayer meetings where he is assisted by a Fr Hayden, who is his spiritual director.
Enter Xarabank. No, not the edition broadcast a fortnight ago but an earlier edition broadcast (if I am not mistaken) around May last year. During this programme, the presenter, with the aid of his panel, set out to ridicule the story. Now it seems Mr Azzopardi has had a change of heart and invited Mr Caruana together with a fanatical Maltese/British female follower of his, a Mark Xuereb (who, we learn, is his personal psychiatrist), Fr Elia Vella and Frank Portelli to participate.
The Xarabank audience consisted of followers of Mr Caruana, including his wife Catherine, a former policewoman.
This time round the programme seems to have been aimed at giving complete credibility to the whole story. The only person to contradict these alleged apparitions was the good Dr Portelli who, every time he opened his mouth to express very logical doubts, was booed continuously by the audience.
It now seems that, apart from Borġ in-Nadur once a week, Mr Caruana is going over to Gozo, where - wonder of wonders - the same Madonna is also appearing to him there. Even if Fr Elia appeared as a guest on the programme, Mr Caruana's spiritual director, Fr Hayden, was ordered by the Archbishop's Curia not to attend and to stop talking about this case and to also stop his writings on the website pertaining to these alleged apparitions.
Incidentally, why didn't Mr Azzopardi interview the Archbishop about this subject?
The plot thickens. After the programme it was alleged that Dr Portelli was physically and verbally abused by Mrs Caruana. As the doctor was escorted out of the studio and to his car by security staff, the wife was allegedly heard saying, and I paraphrase: You know who's keeping me back? The Madonna is holding me back.
When interviewed by a reporter, Dr Portelli is reported to have stated: "I cannot see any divine intervention when I was physically attacked by this woman". He added: "I believe the Maltese Church should issue a clear statement about this whole story". I couldn't agree with him more. No disrespect but, given all the hype, I half expected Mr Caruana to say that Our Lady was present during Xarabank! Would you like to laugh (or cry) some more? According to hearsay, persons who were present during one of Our Lady's alleged apparitions said that Mr Caruana told them that the Madonna had praised Xarabank for helping her spread her message and - wait for it - the Madonna apparently asked Mr Caruana whether the Xarabank presenter preferred to be called Peppi or Joe!
I wonder whether, in her next apparition, she will recommend to the Maltese and Gozitan electorate which political party to vote for?
What is happening about the air and sea departure passenger tax issue?
Way back in 2005, FATTA, the local travel agents' and tour operators' union, filed a complaint with the EU Commission. Since then FATTA has not been kept abreast by the same Commission about what was happening and only got to know about developments through media reports. Only when specifically solicited did the EU Commission inform FATTA of what was going on. FATTA was never copied with any correspondence between the government and the Commission or vice versa.
This contrasts deeply with the manner by which the EU Commission has handled the complaint with regard to the spring hunting season. It looks very much like a two-weights-two-measures situation.
Dr Gonzi is now saying he will do away with the remaining Lm10 (€23.29) tax. Do not be fooled. He is not giving us anything. He has been ordered by the EU Commission to do so before April or be taken before the European Courts as this tax is now illegal.
The Malta Labour Party is promising to halve the unfair surcharge being added to our water and electricity bills. The Nationalist Party keeps asking where the money to make good for this is coming from. Now, Lawrence Gonzi has promised - only one month before the election - to decrease the maximum tax band from 35 per cent to 25 per cent. All well and good for whoever falls in this category but is it not prudent to ask him where is the money to make good for this coming from? I trust that the rumour doing the rounds that a new Nationalist government will raise VAT from 18 per cent to 25 per cent is completely unfounded. Remember, we have a recent precedent when the Nationalist government raised VAT from 15 per cent to 18 per cent. Perhaps Josephine Vassallo from OPM Castille would care to officially deny this rumour?
Today is Valentine's Day. May I take the opportunity to augur a very romantic day to lovers of all ages. Gentlemen, did you remember to send a card and a dozen roses to your loved one?