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England vs Italy

I.M. Beck declares that in football the English are a "superior species" and the Italians are their "poorer... second-rate" European relatives. I bow to his knowledgeable judgement of football history. Allow me to submit a humble suggestion to him.

Along with an Italian coach, an Italian assistant coach, an Italian goalkeeping coach and Italian fitness coach, the English football team should now hire the Italian national team's laundry maid. She would make sure that the lonely star on the England team's red shirts would not wash off. After all, she would have great experience in taking care of the four stars on the Azzurri shirts.

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