Flowers and chocolates

Lawyers young and old plying their trade in family matters like to narrate an amusing story about flowers and chocolates. Some husbands of the most chivalrous confession try to be very affectionately practical with their dear spouses. They first decide that she has a problem whether she likes it or not - but maybe she is not admitting it out of modesty and not to make a fuss. Then, as efficient consorts, they set about ironing (pun intended) at their earliest convenience, the missus' problems with palm, fist and foot effectively in hop, skip and jump wild sprees.

The same lawyers above (even some not above) tell you that husbands may also be victims of this and other charming romance. Sweetly prepared lunches and dinners have to be tackled with chainsaw and jackhammer. For his education, ambition, stimulus, maturation and emancipation, they drill into him - for his own good - the taunt that he is incompetent and looks a bit like an unmentionable anatomical particularity of a cow. Finally, he is supposed to accept being absorbed into the madam's family and forget his own.

These strategic attempts at matrimonial harmony sometimes do not work and legal solutions are sought. For one to promote his victimised situation, accusations of aggressivity and insensitivity, real and imaginary, are exposed and decorated.

Sometimes the obvious bully has no way of hiding the misery s/he is capable of delivering and it seems as if s/he will have to pay dearly for his/her actions or lack of them. Then plan B is switched on. This is, in complicated legal jargon, referred to as the "flowers and chocolates" strategy. Rather than finding oneself squashed under uncomfortable punishment (does comfortable punishment exist? Oh yes it does!) one adopts the "darling I have been terrible" strategy. One admits to having been a torturer but one has changed and one has found a new way of doing policies. One was learning from experience and one did not realise how sadistic one has been.

But this is all over, as one has listened and improved. One may have whipped and strangled ferociously for years. But everything is better now and out come the flowers, the chocolates and the deodorant from behind one's back. It's called a pre-electoral budget.

Subject Coordinators

I don't really like the hyphen in the above word but I have been accused of being a difficult Francophile who does not like hyphens. And I'm not one not to listen to the people. Over the years Subject Co-ordinators in the Education Division have not been sufficiently well-organised on a national basis. From school to school, as headteachers tell you, their role differs in various aspects. I believe that increased harmonisation can do away with the relative anarchy that exists in this important managerial structure of education.

Victory on corruption

The opposition has been investigating corruption and pressing the government for remedy - and the government has no choice but to take steps. If I take steps against corruption following its discovery by someone else, I am still doing the right thing. However, I would be a hypocrite to declare that I was the one to discover it. There is at present a suggestion by the opposition that all prescription be eliminated in the case of corruption. So, come on, this is a good challenge! Maybe accepting the challenge will change the survey results saying that two-thirds of people believe that corruption is rife in the country and that Alfred Sant can perform better against corruption.

Community service

It is of great satisfaction to note that the Courts are using this corrective measure - as against simply punitive ones - more and more in their dealing with law-breakers. To me this is real progress, real reform as a correction of the permanent anti-social behaviour of a person.

Bondin & Cacopardo

Ray Bondin is an ex-PN MP who reminds me of expertise in Maltese esthetic and cultural matters. But, more than that, he reminds me of a genuine and honest person who will not tell you "Yes Sir" when he thinks you are wrong. And there is no way he will collaborate with decisions which he staunchly believes to be erroneous. I was sure that, sooner or later, he would thus have problems with the PN administration - which prefers to feel naïvely euphoric at the theatrics and hypocrisy of specialists in genuflections while quarrelling with its most valid people.

Carmel Cacopardo and I were once both PN militants (militancy was not a dirty word then). Probably we abandoned the PN for the same reasons - but I can only speak for myself and of my dislike of smelly arrogance. Everybody I know - even among the PN's better elements - strongly believes that Carmel is hard-working, honest, courageous and incorruptible. People like him should be in all structures of society, assuring transparency and integrity. Yet he has been given a hard time. It is disgusting. And this is not the only disgusting thing I know about.

How to be young and witty

If one does not understand the Prime Minister's sense of humour, it does not mean that he does not have any or that it is strange. One must be mature about these things, as humour and wit may exist where one sees none. For a better understanding of political leaders' wit - which is an important part of leadership - I think that the PM's PRO must explain further when people like me fail to get it. After all, that's what PROs are for.

In The Times of July 2, 2005, for example, I came across the following piece by Lawrence Gonzi: "I made the mistake of thinking that I was going to be 53 this year until my wife suddenly reminded me I was going to be 52; so it is one of the best birthdays I've ever had because, instead of getting older, I got younger!" I see absolutely no wit or humour here, but I am sure we'll hear from the PRO...

Mepa's stated mission

One important basis of Mepa's mission is "to pass on to our children a better country than we inherited". I very much agree with this theory. It's the practice that I dislike.

The pharmacy of my choice (shhh!)

IIf you think that I will tell you which pharmacy and pharmacist win my choice, you are wrong. First of all this is part and parcel of my data protection. Then I remember that 10 years ago I was promised that I would have the doctor of my choice (who would guarantee my gift of life entrenched in a healthy constitution) and, after I carefully chose him/her among many valid ones, I was told that it had all been a big bluff resulting in a U-turn. Once bitten twice shy.

Dr Licari teaches psycholinguistics, sociolinguistics and geolinguistics at the Department of French of the University of Malta.