London calling - What is it all about, Harry?
Joe Fountain is bored to tears by Harry Potter
Last week, on my way into town for a quick catch up with a friend after work, I noticed a sizable queue outside one of the big bookshops on Piccadilly. There would have been about 40 people in it, mostly in their early to mid-teens, some dressed up in strange garb - pointed hats and that sort of thing, one of them even had a painted face. Seeing as I'd been out of town for some time, and not quite up to date with what's been going on, it took me some time to realise that this was, in fact, the first incidence of Harry Potter-mania that I've ever witnessed. I then remembered that I'd read earlier in the day that the new book was going on sale on Friday at one minute past midnight, and for a minute I got a bit confused. "But it's only 7 p.m. on Wednesday," I thought to myself. "Well, that'll be Potter-mania for you," said my friend at the bar later. Mania, indeed, I thought.
Over the weekend, I kept bumping into people I knew - some of them older than me - who had slept only a few hours because they just had to finish the newly released volume. One 17-year-old - a friend's nephew who joined us for lunch on Sunday, red-eyed and reeking of alcohol (he had spent the night at a friend's) - had been lucky enough to download a copy off the internet (something the others on the table - including his mother - thought was a lot more shocking than the smell of alcohol emanating from his mouth) and had read it even before people had started queuing outside bookshops. All a bit too much, I thought!
On Monday, a message arrives to me on Facebook. "Fancy watching Harry Potter tomorrow?" it said, referring to the film rather than the book. (Pottermania is multimedia! No wonder J.K. Rowling is now worth something like £500 million!). I'd seen the first and second movie, and actually quite enjoyed them (though I have to point out, it was Christmastime, which always has me a lot mellower than usual), so I thought, "Why not?".
Well, let me tell you: I don't think I've ever had a longer two hours and 18 minutes! I'd like to say that it had been the long day at work that did it, or the two glasses of wine I'd had before going to the cinema, but the truth is that I was just bored stupid watching the film, and nodded off a few times - letting out a few snores at intervals, I was told by my companions. Yes, there were some stunning visuals, but other than that there wasn't really much to keep my excitement going. Luckily for Ms Rowling and anyone involved in marketing Harry Potter, I'm not really a target market, so they needn't really worry. But let me tell you, as soon as the credits got rolling, I was out of that seat faster than you can say Dumbledore. Let's just say that I won't be rushing back to see the sixth episode when it hits the screen next year or the year after.
I have to say thanks to all those who texted asking whether everything was alright during the recent spate of floods. However, I think it's necessary to point out that England is actually quite a large country, and that Gloucestershire, which is where all the floods took place, is quite a distance away, and not a drop of floodwater has affected me. But again, thanks to all for your concern.
Over the weekend, I kept bumping into people I knew - some of them older than me - who had slept only a few hours because they just had to finish the newly released volume. One 17-year-old - a friend's nephew who joined us for lunch on Sunday, red-eyed and reeking of alcohol (he had spent the night at a friend's) - had been lucky enough to download a copy off the internet (something the others on the table - including his mother - thought was a lot more shocking than the smell of alcohol emanating from his mouth) and had read it even before people had started queuing outside bookshops. All a bit too much, I thought!
On Monday, a message arrives to me on Facebook. "Fancy watching Harry Potter tomorrow?" it said, referring to the film rather than the book. (Pottermania is multimedia! No wonder J.K. Rowling is now worth something like £500 million!). I'd seen the first and second movie, and actually quite enjoyed them (though I have to point out, it was Christmastime, which always has me a lot mellower than usual), so I thought, "Why not?".
Well, let me tell you: I don't think I've ever had a longer two hours and 18 minutes! I'd like to say that it had been the long day at work that did it, or the two glasses of wine I'd had before going to the cinema, but the truth is that I was just bored stupid watching the film, and nodded off a few times - letting out a few snores at intervals, I was told by my companions. Yes, there were some stunning visuals, but other than that there wasn't really much to keep my excitement going. Luckily for Ms Rowling and anyone involved in marketing Harry Potter, I'm not really a target market, so they needn't really worry. But let me tell you, as soon as the credits got rolling, I was out of that seat faster than you can say Dumbledore. Let's just say that I won't be rushing back to see the sixth episode when it hits the screen next year or the year after.
I have to say thanks to all those who texted asking whether everything was alright during the recent spate of floods. However, I think it's necessary to point out that England is actually quite a large country, and that Gloucestershire, which is where all the floods took place, is quite a distance away, and not a drop of floodwater has affected me. But again, thanks to all for your concern.