MPs home in on the emotional roller coaster of fostering

Parliamentary Secretary Tony Abela yesterday urged the House of Representatives to consider the potential pitfalls that existed when children who would have lived with foster parents for a considerable period of time were suddenly made to return to their natural parents.

Speaking in Parliament during the debate on the Foster Care Bill, Dr Abela said that foster care was more difficult than adoption, both for the foster parents and the children.

Adopted children became a legal part of the new family whereas foster children were cared for temporarily by foster parents, either on the basis of a care order or following a decision by the natural parents. Despite foster care being temporary in nature, bonding often took place between foster children and their foster parents.

Before children were placed in fostering, it was important that potential foster carers were well known and up to the task.

But once children got used to their foster parents and the quality of the care they gave them, they should not be made to suffer an abrupt change of environment when their parents decided they wanted them back. All too often this meant a traumatic change from a comfortable living environment to substantially inferior living standards. This happened particularly when daughters grew into their teens and became attractive. He knew of a case where such a foster child taken back by her natural parents eventually fell into depression and drug abuse.

Therefore, rather than having such children suffer an overnight change of environment, natural parents, instead of immediately taking back their children, should be given regular access to them.

The law should allow some leeway to the authorities so that each case could be tackled on its own merits. For example there could be cases where drug dependant parents suddenly wanted their children back. While such parents might truly love their children, would it be wise to return them?

Dr Abela also spoke on his experience as a notary and said it would be wise if parents who called to prepare a will also indicated who should care for their minor children should something happen to them (the parents). After all, the best thing one could bequeath his children was a loving, safe and familiar environment.

Earlier in the debate Labour MP Joe Abela said the Bill was giving potential and existing foster parents clear parameters of their rights and obligations. The bill was also offering them protection.

He said the traditional family unit needed to be protected and promoted at all times, and nothing was better than placing vulnerable children into the care of a family.

The traditional family was facing challenges. Many married couples were opting to continue working, and greater consideration was needed into how working conditions would allow both parents to have time for children in their care, including their natural children.

Mr Abela also observed that several Maltese families were informally bringing up the children of illegal immigrants. They did not know whether their service was considered as fostering. This Bill, once it became law, would hopefully clarify matters.

Mr Abela said this Bill was also being welcomed because it left no room for abuse. Nonetheless, its provisions needed to be enforced, and this could only happen if the relevant bodies were properly resourced, particularly with social workers.

Labour MP Helena Dalli said children who were not properly cared for often became a burden on society.

The state, therefore, owed a debt of gratitude to those foster parents who opened their hearts and their homes for vulnerable children.

Theirs was a difficult job, not least because foster children coming from a difficult environment required particular care and attention.

Indeed, one also had to consider the influence which the fostered child would have on the family's natural children. Natural children could learn from this experience, recognising that not everyone was as fortunate as they were.

But opting to foster a child also meant that the foster parents lost considerable privacy. It was not just children who were admitted into the new family, but also case workers, social workers, therapists and even the child's biological parents.

Foster parents also had to consider certain risks. Foster children may be bitter over the trauma they would have suffered and express this through anger, violence and untruths.

But the biggest risk was that foster parents might become too attached to the foster children, only to then see them leave. She knew of a case where a foster mother fell into a depression once the fostered child was taken from her.

It was because of all these risks, willingly taken, that foster parents deserved the nation's gratitude.

Opting to become a foster parents was not something one did for monetary gain and it was important that potential foster parents were realistic and reasonable in their expectations.

A parent had to be ready to accept the emotional baggage the child would be bringing with him.

Labour MP Joe Mizzi said children were given up for fostering for a variety of reasons involving the natural family. It was worth pointing out, however, that such reasons transcended every class of society.

Fostering was the assignment of a child for care by another family for a temporary period of time. It was important that during that time that natural parents were, as far as possible, helped to be in a position where they could take their children back.

He knew of cases where natural families had been able to rehabilitate themselves, but the authorities were then skeptical about allowing their children to return.

Furthermore, it was common that foster parents, despite knowing that fostering was temporary, still found it difficult to part from the children placed under their care. Yet he knew of cases where it was in the interest of the children themselves that they were returned to their natural parents.

Mr Mizzi said society should not judge children who were fostered but should treat all such children with dignity and respect.

In this context he disagreed with the blanket coverage given recently by the media in the case of a baby found in the street in Cospicua. What the family needed in those circumstances was care and assistance, not coverage which only served to raise tensions within it.

He urged the government to implement the recommendations of the strategic plan for the south prepared at the time of the Labour government.

The rest of the sitting will be reported in another issue. The Bill was later unanimously given a second reading.