Roots to life - Parenting a family
"Responsible parenthood" is not simply a catch phrase. As every parent knows, there is so much to be done if this phrase is to be given a meaning.
At 13 years of age, as part of my education, I had to choose in which direction I was to further my studies. At that time, the choice was basically between sciences and the arts. Sciences included maths, physics, chemistry and biology, while arts included a choice of languages, art, in the sense of drawing and painting, and housecraft. The latter, today known as home economics, is nowadays considered a science, but for those of us who were reluctant to spend our teenage years in continuous study, the word "science" was too overwhelming. With thoughts of having to spend our lives studying, something we obviously did not want at our age, we considered housecraft and needlework a good way to have an "easy life", compared to our "science"-oriented friends. On my part, I argued to myself that whatever path in life I chose, housecraft was really the only subject useful for survival, because it included food and what to do with it, so that was the subject I chose.
Some years later, going to teachers' training college, and a little bit older with more sense, I realised that there was much more to adulthood than eating food! Home economics took a more vast approach to life, and I decided to go on with my studies in this area, something I still do despite being a grandparent. It was the best gift I ever gave myself. It was only the start to a very wide spectrum of knowledge that I needed as an adult and even more so, as a parent. Today, with my experience as a teacher, a parent, a grandparent and a parent educator, I believe that this subject should really be a dominant subject in the school's curriculum, together with the basic subjects requiring certification. When properly tackled, this subject includes practical know-how one really needs in adulthood, as distinct to certificates-on-the-wall, obtained after sitting for examinations in preparation for careers.
What is there to know in preparation for parenthood?
Still influenced by my childhood need to choose a category, I started off answering this question by separating subjects related to parenthood into two columns, science and art, but as most of the subjects are both a science and an art, and are very much interrelated, I decided to tackle them individually without the need to sort them out in any column. Here are a few:
Psychology
The first thought that comes to mind is self-esteem. I really believe that this is the foundation for life as it affects our way of thinking. Psychology could include the practical side of living with self, living in a family, in a society. Among others, it includes communication skills, anger management, conflict resolution, problem solving, child development, child and adult behaviour and how to deal with it. All these and other areas are essential to a happy relationship within a family and within a community.
Business management
Time management, accounts and money management, people management, decision-making, creative thinking, lateral thinking, developing new ideas are all business-related skills no successful manager can do without. Mastering the same basics will help many a home manager, otherwise known as "parent", in the venture of managing a family. Success or failure of the "family agency" and the individual family members highly depends on the "top managers" - the parents, and the good use of their skills.
Teaching practice
A child's first teacher is his parent. Modelling behaviour, transmitting knowledge in fun ways, playing with a child, choosing the right toy at the right time, spending quality time with each child, adapting teaching techniques according to each child's needs, creativity, storytelling and singing are only but a few skills learned in a teachers' training college. If only each and every parent could master such skills and use them accordingly with each of their children! It will guarantee less problems in children, teens and therefore in future society.
Biology
Studying one's body and respecting how it works certainly comes useful in parenting. Safe and effective birth control, natural and medical childbirth, breastfeeding, exercise and nutrition, preparation of food, use of drugs and/or alternatives are only a few subjects which need to be tackled in preparation for parenthood. A parent's loving embrace works wonders in many situations. Touching, as in massage, is physical, and can be highly therapeutic within a family... Is this physiotherapy? Speech is also known to affect one's communication. Is speech therapy essential for a parent to help in the first years of speech development?
Health and safety
Education in nutrition and exercise are today considered basic knowledge if one is to lead a healthy life. Safety in the home and first aid, are practical subjects no parent should do without. Basic nursing given with tender loving care will be used often in the first years while children build up their immunity and meet with everyday accidents. The safe use of complimentary medicine is included in this area. Environmental studies practised with diligence by every parent will save our planet.
Technical subjects
Is it not good preparation for a parent to know the bare necessities of keeping a house, like changing the washer of a dripping tap, replace a gas cylinder, change a plug and a fuse, whitewash a wall, put together a colour scheme within a room, plan a kitchen, etc. Of course you do find people who will do it for you, but why be robbed of the satisfaction that goes with doing things for yourself successfully? Nurturing high self-esteem in a person comes in many forms.
Why do students at a tender age need to choose one area of study and drop others for a career, when all of the above are essentials for everyday living? Surely the majority of students will become parents in the near future! It is not a question of becoming Jack of all trades, and master of none. With positive knowledge and active participation in their home, parents feel confident and capable in the areas they need to tackle every day. The resulting feeling of fulfillment and success will be transmitted to their children, changing a vicious circle of negativity into a positive relationship enjoyed by all.
"Responsible parenthood" is not simply a catch phrase. As every parent knows, there is so much to be done if this phrase is to be given a meaning. It is sad that parents are taken for granted, expected to know it all, and are often condemned as failures, as if the certificate in responsible parenthood is obtained automatically on the first day a child is born into the family. We cannot be further from the truth. Many a parent who can boast to be successful at the place of work, goes through feelings of failure and helplessness, especially with a first baby. Balance between work and family is much more than working out a time frame to fit in both work and family in one's restricted 24-hour timetable. How to use that time is equally, if not more important. An early holistic approach towards educating for parenthood and a system of life-long learning within the education system is an investment to improve on society's ways, today and in the future.
• Marianne Theuma is a qualified childbirth educator and school teacher. A mother of three children and a grandparent, she directs a school for parents, In the Family Way, based at Marsascala. The school offers courses and support for parents, covering various related subjects, from pregnancy to primary and early secondary school age.
• Through this article I will be discussing several aspects of parenting. It would be interesting to receive feedback from readers. Comments and suggestions are most welcome.
Some years later, going to teachers' training college, and a little bit older with more sense, I realised that there was much more to adulthood than eating food! Home economics took a more vast approach to life, and I decided to go on with my studies in this area, something I still do despite being a grandparent. It was the best gift I ever gave myself. It was only the start to a very wide spectrum of knowledge that I needed as an adult and even more so, as a parent. Today, with my experience as a teacher, a parent, a grandparent and a parent educator, I believe that this subject should really be a dominant subject in the school's curriculum, together with the basic subjects requiring certification. When properly tackled, this subject includes practical know-how one really needs in adulthood, as distinct to certificates-on-the-wall, obtained after sitting for examinations in preparation for careers.
What is there to know in preparation for parenthood?
Still influenced by my childhood need to choose a category, I started off answering this question by separating subjects related to parenthood into two columns, science and art, but as most of the subjects are both a science and an art, and are very much interrelated, I decided to tackle them individually without the need to sort them out in any column. Here are a few:
Psychology
The first thought that comes to mind is self-esteem. I really believe that this is the foundation for life as it affects our way of thinking. Psychology could include the practical side of living with self, living in a family, in a society. Among others, it includes communication skills, anger management, conflict resolution, problem solving, child development, child and adult behaviour and how to deal with it. All these and other areas are essential to a happy relationship within a family and within a community.
Business management
Time management, accounts and money management, people management, decision-making, creative thinking, lateral thinking, developing new ideas are all business-related skills no successful manager can do without. Mastering the same basics will help many a home manager, otherwise known as "parent", in the venture of managing a family. Success or failure of the "family agency" and the individual family members highly depends on the "top managers" - the parents, and the good use of their skills.
Teaching practice
A child's first teacher is his parent. Modelling behaviour, transmitting knowledge in fun ways, playing with a child, choosing the right toy at the right time, spending quality time with each child, adapting teaching techniques according to each child's needs, creativity, storytelling and singing are only but a few skills learned in a teachers' training college. If only each and every parent could master such skills and use them accordingly with each of their children! It will guarantee less problems in children, teens and therefore in future society.
Biology
Studying one's body and respecting how it works certainly comes useful in parenting. Safe and effective birth control, natural and medical childbirth, breastfeeding, exercise and nutrition, preparation of food, use of drugs and/or alternatives are only a few subjects which need to be tackled in preparation for parenthood. A parent's loving embrace works wonders in many situations. Touching, as in massage, is physical, and can be highly therapeutic within a family... Is this physiotherapy? Speech is also known to affect one's communication. Is speech therapy essential for a parent to help in the first years of speech development?
Health and safety
Education in nutrition and exercise are today considered basic knowledge if one is to lead a healthy life. Safety in the home and first aid, are practical subjects no parent should do without. Basic nursing given with tender loving care will be used often in the first years while children build up their immunity and meet with everyday accidents. The safe use of complimentary medicine is included in this area. Environmental studies practised with diligence by every parent will save our planet.
Technical subjects
Is it not good preparation for a parent to know the bare necessities of keeping a house, like changing the washer of a dripping tap, replace a gas cylinder, change a plug and a fuse, whitewash a wall, put together a colour scheme within a room, plan a kitchen, etc. Of course you do find people who will do it for you, but why be robbed of the satisfaction that goes with doing things for yourself successfully? Nurturing high self-esteem in a person comes in many forms.
Why do students at a tender age need to choose one area of study and drop others for a career, when all of the above are essentials for everyday living? Surely the majority of students will become parents in the near future! It is not a question of becoming Jack of all trades, and master of none. With positive knowledge and active participation in their home, parents feel confident and capable in the areas they need to tackle every day. The resulting feeling of fulfillment and success will be transmitted to their children, changing a vicious circle of negativity into a positive relationship enjoyed by all.
"Responsible parenthood" is not simply a catch phrase. As every parent knows, there is so much to be done if this phrase is to be given a meaning. It is sad that parents are taken for granted, expected to know it all, and are often condemned as failures, as if the certificate in responsible parenthood is obtained automatically on the first day a child is born into the family. We cannot be further from the truth. Many a parent who can boast to be successful at the place of work, goes through feelings of failure and helplessness, especially with a first baby. Balance between work and family is much more than working out a time frame to fit in both work and family in one's restricted 24-hour timetable. How to use that time is equally, if not more important. An early holistic approach towards educating for parenthood and a system of life-long learning within the education system is an investment to improve on society's ways, today and in the future.
• Marianne Theuma is a qualified childbirth educator and school teacher. A mother of three children and a grandparent, she directs a school for parents, In the Family Way, based at Marsascala. The school offers courses and support for parents, covering various related subjects, from pregnancy to primary and early secondary school age.
• Through this article I will be discussing several aspects of parenting. It would be interesting to receive feedback from readers. Comments and suggestions are most welcome.