As gender roles in general are changing and the economy absorbs an increasing number of women within it, fatherhood emerges as an important role in the upbringing of children.
The father figure, albeit in a different way, was always important in the family. In spite of the criticism fathers received for being peripheral to the family, traditionally fathers used to supply the family with all the financial needs necessary. They were assigned with the task of providing financially for the family and make sure everyone was safe and secure within it.
It is now that trends are changing and men are invited to take a step back to let women emerge out of the doldrums of their past home centredness. Feminists felt that men had a better deal in life and had more power than women, more opportunities and more control. Women felt estranged from their full potential to contribute to economic growth in a varied way.
It's good then, that women are finally ready to share the caring role with their partners. It's as good as men's readiness to share the breadwinning role within the family. It's a shift both men and women will eventually benefit from.
Men's benefits will include a decreasing financial provision responsibility. Less work does not necessarily mean less income but more time to spend with the kids back at home.
This is not happening of course. The fact that women "emancipated" to paid work doesn't really mean that the man in the family can now lay back and relax a bit. Far from it. What we are facing now is an increasingly stressed family, with both partners working full time, and each holding a part-time; both stretched and stressed out to the limits of possibility.
If seen from this perspective, men's peripheral position in the family may be interpreted as lack of involvement in family life. And this is understandable. Yet one needs to take into consideration other forces at work here. For example, the increasing cost of living has pushed men to work longer hours, thus be away from the family even more.
The decreasing number of holidays also had an impact on family life and father's peripheral position. In its majority women's employment still focuses around the children's schooling hours, thus showing that women remain the primary carers in the house. What I am saying is backed by statistics showing women on top in part-time employment. This means that fathers have to work longer hours. Many women, while preferring to take on the role of primary carers, especially during child-rearing phases of the family development, are still being forced to go out to work by the increasing cost of living. It is because of this that men are bound to increase their workload further. The lesser a woman earns in a family, the longer the man has to work.
Man's role in society has not been given its due importance. It was always assumed that men have the power and women don't, and that men have a freedom which women were denied. But as much as woman's role expanded so did man's role. Parallel to economic calls for women to fill economic gaps, men are increasingly being called to fill caring gaps that were inexistent until recently. The difference is that while women received all the support men received all the criticism. Albeit with hidden agendas, whole campaigns were weaved to encourage women to break the barrier of traditional roles. Locally, various corporations embarked upon politically driven projects to "enhance" women's quality of life.
This is definitely right, just, and fair for women who want to juggle between a career and family life. More right it is for those who were forced into it by economic pressures. With prices on goods doubling in the last couple of years and wages increasing by crumbs, many women had little choice. So women were offered training and retraining in all sorts of trades, services, and so on.
But what were men offered? Were they offered any training on fathering, childcare? Were they offered any advice or training about the changes that such a shift would bring to their roles? Were they encouraged in any way to adapt and accept the changing family situation? Instead, men were being portrayed as villains, power seekers, dominators, and so on. They were in no way supported to make the shift from punishers to carers.
Luckily, many men like myself engaged fully in family life. Luckily many men have learned at their own expense. Luckily, many men have discovered new dimensions of fatherhood. Father's role in the family is shifting into new dimensions that are changing all the time. Being a dad means something different now than it used to mean some years ago. Many fathers are discovering the enjoyment of being with their children. The number of fathers on parents' day at schools is increasing. Many are assisting their children in their studies. Others are accompanying their children to sports.
Yes fathers are changing. And I am highly interested in widening my perspective on the local nature of fatherhood. I welcome your experience of fatherhood if you want to write to me about it. The question is simple: What does being a father mean to you?
We definitely need to collectively support and encourage a new perspective of fatherhood. We need to promote healthier ways of being fathers; healthier not only for the father, but also for the whole family. Father participation in the family makes a big difference, an important difference. Let's support it.
• Mr Azzopardi is a systemic family psychotherapist.
The father figure, albeit in a different way, was always important in the family. In spite of the criticism fathers received for being peripheral to the family, traditionally fathers used to supply the family with all the financial needs necessary. They were assigned with the task of providing financially for the family and make sure everyone was safe and secure within it.
It is now that trends are changing and men are invited to take a step back to let women emerge out of the doldrums of their past home centredness. Feminists felt that men had a better deal in life and had more power than women, more opportunities and more control. Women felt estranged from their full potential to contribute to economic growth in a varied way.
It's good then, that women are finally ready to share the caring role with their partners. It's as good as men's readiness to share the breadwinning role within the family. It's a shift both men and women will eventually benefit from.
Men's benefits will include a decreasing financial provision responsibility. Less work does not necessarily mean less income but more time to spend with the kids back at home.
This is not happening of course. The fact that women "emancipated" to paid work doesn't really mean that the man in the family can now lay back and relax a bit. Far from it. What we are facing now is an increasingly stressed family, with both partners working full time, and each holding a part-time; both stretched and stressed out to the limits of possibility.
If seen from this perspective, men's peripheral position in the family may be interpreted as lack of involvement in family life. And this is understandable. Yet one needs to take into consideration other forces at work here. For example, the increasing cost of living has pushed men to work longer hours, thus be away from the family even more.
The decreasing number of holidays also had an impact on family life and father's peripheral position. In its majority women's employment still focuses around the children's schooling hours, thus showing that women remain the primary carers in the house. What I am saying is backed by statistics showing women on top in part-time employment. This means that fathers have to work longer hours. Many women, while preferring to take on the role of primary carers, especially during child-rearing phases of the family development, are still being forced to go out to work by the increasing cost of living. It is because of this that men are bound to increase their workload further. The lesser a woman earns in a family, the longer the man has to work.
Man's role in society has not been given its due importance. It was always assumed that men have the power and women don't, and that men have a freedom which women were denied. But as much as woman's role expanded so did man's role. Parallel to economic calls for women to fill economic gaps, men are increasingly being called to fill caring gaps that were inexistent until recently. The difference is that while women received all the support men received all the criticism. Albeit with hidden agendas, whole campaigns were weaved to encourage women to break the barrier of traditional roles. Locally, various corporations embarked upon politically driven projects to "enhance" women's quality of life.
This is definitely right, just, and fair for women who want to juggle between a career and family life. More right it is for those who were forced into it by economic pressures. With prices on goods doubling in the last couple of years and wages increasing by crumbs, many women had little choice. So women were offered training and retraining in all sorts of trades, services, and so on.
But what were men offered? Were they offered any training on fathering, childcare? Were they offered any advice or training about the changes that such a shift would bring to their roles? Were they encouraged in any way to adapt and accept the changing family situation? Instead, men were being portrayed as villains, power seekers, dominators, and so on. They were in no way supported to make the shift from punishers to carers.
Luckily, many men like myself engaged fully in family life. Luckily many men have learned at their own expense. Luckily, many men have discovered new dimensions of fatherhood. Father's role in the family is shifting into new dimensions that are changing all the time. Being a dad means something different now than it used to mean some years ago. Many fathers are discovering the enjoyment of being with their children. The number of fathers on parents' day at schools is increasing. Many are assisting their children in their studies. Others are accompanying their children to sports.
Yes fathers are changing. And I am highly interested in widening my perspective on the local nature of fatherhood. I welcome your experience of fatherhood if you want to write to me about it. The question is simple: What does being a father mean to you?
We definitely need to collectively support and encourage a new perspective of fatherhood. We need to promote healthier ways of being fathers; healthier not only for the father, but also for the whole family. Father participation in the family makes a big difference, an important difference. Let's support it.
• Mr Azzopardi is a systemic family psychotherapist.