London calling - I WANT MY DRIVING LICENCE!
Joe Fountain's appeal to the ATP
The knives - no, daggers, I'm feeling more vicious - are out, and I'm not letting go on this one. I had to suffer too much to get this new driving licence after it expired about eight years ago, and it's not going to happen again, thank you very much. It doesn't help that I've got a holiday booked in exactly three weeks' time, and I'm going to rent a car, so the people at the Licensing Office had better hurry up!
OK, calm down. Breathe in, and out. What's all this fuss about?
Well, a couple of months ago, I sent my driving licence over to the ATP in Floriana for renewal, together with a cheque, and a polite note saying "Dear Sir/Madam, please find my licence and cheque for renewal, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." My mother was visiting, and following a bad experience with Spain, where a registered envelope with about €100 went missing in transit, I thought I'd give it to her to post on her return, just to be on the safe side. I phoned to make sure that she had posted it the evening she got back. Reply: Positive.
About five weeks later, a reminder in my iCal read: "Important: Check licence renewal", so I called home to see if there was any news. Nothing. Being a bit sceptical of anything that involves civil servants, I check the ATP website, and get a Customer Care number, which I rang. No sooner do I dial the number, than somebody's picking the phone: "Good morning... "
The news, delivered in the sweetest of tones, by a very well mannered - if a touch simple - young lady was that there was a backlog, and that I needn't worry because it was all being dealt with. "Any idea of when?" I asked. That was a bit too much to ask said the young lady obviously.
This week - with less than a month to go to my holiday, I thought I'd check in on things again. I can appreciate a small backlog, but nothing?! Nothing doesn't quite cut it with me, so on Monday morning, before setting off for work, I gave the ATP a ring, just to check up on the situation.
Same girl picks up phone, and again gives me the backlog story, which at this point I'm not really buying. Nowadays, that is not a valid excuse: If there really is a backlog, employ more people, get a new computer, just do something for Chrissakes, otherwise what you get is irate customers like myself and bad rap in the newspapers!
Since the girl was still very well mannered, I thought it would be rude to be aggressive with her, so I asked if she could give me a number I could call to check up on my personal situation, at least to check how far down the backlog my licence is. I was thrilled to be given not one number but four.
But of course, none of these numbers leads anywhere. I have dedicated 30 minutes of my precious time to dialling each and everyone of those numbers every morning this week and not one soul ever picked the phone up. No, actually, someone did, said that he was going to connect me, and left me there hanging - as the song goes - on the telephone.
So, since I'm not going to have time to make it to the Licence Office this weekend because of the public holidays, this is my last resort. I'm hoping that somebody bothering to read this knows someone who knows someone who works at the Licensing Office who's going to tell him or her that I'm very angry, and that hell hath no fury like a man with a driving licence caught in a backlog. As a result, I'm going to get my licence back with a polite note saying, "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!"
Now that doesn't sound like hard work does it?
OK, calm down. Breathe in, and out. What's all this fuss about?
Well, a couple of months ago, I sent my driving licence over to the ATP in Floriana for renewal, together with a cheque, and a polite note saying "Dear Sir/Madam, please find my licence and cheque for renewal, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." My mother was visiting, and following a bad experience with Spain, where a registered envelope with about €100 went missing in transit, I thought I'd give it to her to post on her return, just to be on the safe side. I phoned to make sure that she had posted it the evening she got back. Reply: Positive.
About five weeks later, a reminder in my iCal read: "Important: Check licence renewal", so I called home to see if there was any news. Nothing. Being a bit sceptical of anything that involves civil servants, I check the ATP website, and get a Customer Care number, which I rang. No sooner do I dial the number, than somebody's picking the phone: "Good morning... "
The news, delivered in the sweetest of tones, by a very well mannered - if a touch simple - young lady was that there was a backlog, and that I needn't worry because it was all being dealt with. "Any idea of when?" I asked. That was a bit too much to ask said the young lady obviously.
This week - with less than a month to go to my holiday, I thought I'd check in on things again. I can appreciate a small backlog, but nothing?! Nothing doesn't quite cut it with me, so on Monday morning, before setting off for work, I gave the ATP a ring, just to check up on the situation.
Same girl picks up phone, and again gives me the backlog story, which at this point I'm not really buying. Nowadays, that is not a valid excuse: If there really is a backlog, employ more people, get a new computer, just do something for Chrissakes, otherwise what you get is irate customers like myself and bad rap in the newspapers!
Since the girl was still very well mannered, I thought it would be rude to be aggressive with her, so I asked if she could give me a number I could call to check up on my personal situation, at least to check how far down the backlog my licence is. I was thrilled to be given not one number but four.
But of course, none of these numbers leads anywhere. I have dedicated 30 minutes of my precious time to dialling each and everyone of those numbers every morning this week and not one soul ever picked the phone up. No, actually, someone did, said that he was going to connect me, and left me there hanging - as the song goes - on the telephone.
So, since I'm not going to have time to make it to the Licence Office this weekend because of the public holidays, this is my last resort. I'm hoping that somebody bothering to read this knows someone who knows someone who works at the Licensing Office who's going to tell him or her that I'm very angry, and that hell hath no fury like a man with a driving licence caught in a backlog. As a result, I'm going to get my licence back with a polite note saying, "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!"
Now that doesn't sound like hard work does it?