Roots to life - The role of the pregnant mother
Marianne Theuma hopes that moving to a new hospital will not only provide new stonework but also a new and refreshed way of caring for our mothers
"I'm pregnant!" There may be several intonations to this exclamation. It is unfortunate that the written word is not capable of putting across the feeling that is intended! If only the reader could hear the joy, the elated expression that is meant to come with these words.
In this day and age of do-it-yourself techniques, most pregnant mothers get to know the news of a pregnancy through a home pregnancy test. How many pregnancy tests are conducted with mixed feelings is anybody's guess. With all the scientific knowledge that exists and can be easily made available to one and all, it is strange how many babies still come.
It is not my usual self to be negative when it comes to welcoming a baby. I am happy to say that thankfully, in Malta, most babies are joyfully welcomed and most others do find their cosy place in the family. This is very positive, of course. But precious time is lost at the very early stages of a pregnancy, if the mother does not think "pregnant" right from the start. This is why planning a baby is so much wiser. The parent may have ample time to prepare both mentally and physically for a pregnancy well before it starts. When the blue lines in the test appear, the mother would already be at least two weeks pregnant! Starting a healthy regimen now is a good idea, but it's already quite a few weeks late!
In my previous article, I described how important it is to prepare both the body and mind for parenthood. Ideally a healthy lifestyle should have started at least six months before as it is so beneficial to have the "nest" well set up in advance. Now that the pregnancy is confirmed what is the pregnant mother responsible for?
Most of the issues discussed in the previous article for pre-pregnancy preparation still hold good during pregnancy, especially during the first three months, when the baby's body is in the making! Eating well, appropriate exercise and relaxation techniques should still be an important part of an expectant mother's daily life. I shall go into more detail on this subject in future articles. Leading a healthy lifestyle, avoiding health hazards in her own home and at her place of work is to be continued throughout the pregnancy, ideally of course, throughout her family's lifetime!
Getting in touch with the baby inside the mother is another aspect of the "waiting time" that needs addressing. With today's busy lifestyle, and most mothers-to-be retaining their jobs throughout pregnancy and thereafter, babies seem to grow silently inside, and then, all of a sudden make their appearance! It is now known that very early in pregnancy, babies inside their mothers are very sensitive to the world around them. They can sense how welcomed or not they are, they can sense the mother's feelings and reactions, they are aware of other people beside their mother, they can tell light from darkness, they can hear sounds and make a difference between different kinds of voice intonations and music. Indeed, they are very much present and a part of the family much earlier than we think!
It is entirely up to the expectant mother to live each moment with the baby to the full. This does not mean she may not give importance to other things in life, or have different feelings every so often or have to fake happiness. She is still living her life with whatever it brings with it. However, the more positive an outlook she has on life, the more positive feelings she will transmit to her baby.
It is interesting to know that anxiety in a pregnancy affects the baby's character. This can explain, for example, why a first baby carries certain characteristics which are not usually present in a second-born. There may be other factors which contribute to the difference, but the anxiety of carrying a first baby in itself produces certain chemicals in the mother's body. These chemicals are known to be transmitted to the first, and not to subsequent babies.
The mother needs to find time to be not only physically with the baby but also mentally. This means she needs to direct her thoughts to his presence, perhaps verbally speaking or singing loving messages. Putting her hand on her belly every so often, singing to the baby and sharing happy thoughts with him are not only acceptable but desirable. She needs to share these feelings with the people around her, talk about them and get the support that she needs, not only physical but also emotional.
It is natural that a pregnant mother may get very emotional, sometimes too emotional for the people around her. This can be very overwhelming to both her and the family, especially if the mother is usually a strong person. It helps to find time to talk about her feelings. There need not be a solution at all! It just happens, and the best way is to accept it as such. It's a good feeling to be able to be yourself and be understood! Sometimes suppressing feelings does more harm than good. That is why it is highly important for a pregnant woman to be in a supportive relationship. If a pregnant woman's emotions get out of hand for one reason or another, it may be a good idea to seek professional help.
How a mother feels after she has her baby is very often determined by the way she feels during the pregnancy. Motherhood is one continuous process which cannot be separated in pigeon-holes. The prevailing system of having a mother seen by numerous different people during pregnancy, birth and postnatally may not be the ideal way to care for a mother's particular needs. Certain problems may be detected much sooner if a mother is under the care of one person who can provide her with a holistic kind of caring, referring her to other professionals when and as necessary. Team work with various professionals contributing to a mother's continued care has proven highly successful in other countries. Here's hoping that, in Malta, moving to a new hospital will not only provide new stonework but also a new and refreshed way of caring for our mothers.
• Marianne Theuma ICCE is a qualified childbirth educator and school teacher. A mother of three children and a grandparent, she directs a school for parents, In the Family Way, based at Marsascala. The school offers courses and support for parents, covering various related subjects, from pregnancy to primary and early secondary school age.
• Through this article I will be discussing several aspects of parenting. It would be interesting to have feedback from readers. Comments and suggestions are most welcome.
In this day and age of do-it-yourself techniques, most pregnant mothers get to know the news of a pregnancy through a home pregnancy test. How many pregnancy tests are conducted with mixed feelings is anybody's guess. With all the scientific knowledge that exists and can be easily made available to one and all, it is strange how many babies still come.
It is not my usual self to be negative when it comes to welcoming a baby. I am happy to say that thankfully, in Malta, most babies are joyfully welcomed and most others do find their cosy place in the family. This is very positive, of course. But precious time is lost at the very early stages of a pregnancy, if the mother does not think "pregnant" right from the start. This is why planning a baby is so much wiser. The parent may have ample time to prepare both mentally and physically for a pregnancy well before it starts. When the blue lines in the test appear, the mother would already be at least two weeks pregnant! Starting a healthy regimen now is a good idea, but it's already quite a few weeks late!
In my previous article, I described how important it is to prepare both the body and mind for parenthood. Ideally a healthy lifestyle should have started at least six months before as it is so beneficial to have the "nest" well set up in advance. Now that the pregnancy is confirmed what is the pregnant mother responsible for?
Most of the issues discussed in the previous article for pre-pregnancy preparation still hold good during pregnancy, especially during the first three months, when the baby's body is in the making! Eating well, appropriate exercise and relaxation techniques should still be an important part of an expectant mother's daily life. I shall go into more detail on this subject in future articles. Leading a healthy lifestyle, avoiding health hazards in her own home and at her place of work is to be continued throughout the pregnancy, ideally of course, throughout her family's lifetime!
Getting in touch with the baby inside the mother is another aspect of the "waiting time" that needs addressing. With today's busy lifestyle, and most mothers-to-be retaining their jobs throughout pregnancy and thereafter, babies seem to grow silently inside, and then, all of a sudden make their appearance! It is now known that very early in pregnancy, babies inside their mothers are very sensitive to the world around them. They can sense how welcomed or not they are, they can sense the mother's feelings and reactions, they are aware of other people beside their mother, they can tell light from darkness, they can hear sounds and make a difference between different kinds of voice intonations and music. Indeed, they are very much present and a part of the family much earlier than we think!
It is entirely up to the expectant mother to live each moment with the baby to the full. This does not mean she may not give importance to other things in life, or have different feelings every so often or have to fake happiness. She is still living her life with whatever it brings with it. However, the more positive an outlook she has on life, the more positive feelings she will transmit to her baby.
It is interesting to know that anxiety in a pregnancy affects the baby's character. This can explain, for example, why a first baby carries certain characteristics which are not usually present in a second-born. There may be other factors which contribute to the difference, but the anxiety of carrying a first baby in itself produces certain chemicals in the mother's body. These chemicals are known to be transmitted to the first, and not to subsequent babies.
The mother needs to find time to be not only physically with the baby but also mentally. This means she needs to direct her thoughts to his presence, perhaps verbally speaking or singing loving messages. Putting her hand on her belly every so often, singing to the baby and sharing happy thoughts with him are not only acceptable but desirable. She needs to share these feelings with the people around her, talk about them and get the support that she needs, not only physical but also emotional.
It is natural that a pregnant mother may get very emotional, sometimes too emotional for the people around her. This can be very overwhelming to both her and the family, especially if the mother is usually a strong person. It helps to find time to talk about her feelings. There need not be a solution at all! It just happens, and the best way is to accept it as such. It's a good feeling to be able to be yourself and be understood! Sometimes suppressing feelings does more harm than good. That is why it is highly important for a pregnant woman to be in a supportive relationship. If a pregnant woman's emotions get out of hand for one reason or another, it may be a good idea to seek professional help.
How a mother feels after she has her baby is very often determined by the way she feels during the pregnancy. Motherhood is one continuous process which cannot be separated in pigeon-holes. The prevailing system of having a mother seen by numerous different people during pregnancy, birth and postnatally may not be the ideal way to care for a mother's particular needs. Certain problems may be detected much sooner if a mother is under the care of one person who can provide her with a holistic kind of caring, referring her to other professionals when and as necessary. Team work with various professionals contributing to a mother's continued care has proven highly successful in other countries. Here's hoping that, in Malta, moving to a new hospital will not only provide new stonework but also a new and refreshed way of caring for our mothers.
• Marianne Theuma ICCE is a qualified childbirth educator and school teacher. A mother of three children and a grandparent, she directs a school for parents, In the Family Way, based at Marsascala. The school offers courses and support for parents, covering various related subjects, from pregnancy to primary and early secondary school age.
• Through this article I will be discussing several aspects of parenting. It would be interesting to have feedback from readers. Comments and suggestions are most welcome.