Putting a safety net to the net

Chatting online shows teenagers being teenagers but we need to guide them to be responsible

Children of all ages blab and fantasise. They always have and they always will. What's taking on a new twist in today's wired world is the proliferation of teenage "home pages" which profile details of their lives, loves, friends and typical teenage fixations.

Most home pages come complete with photos, daily blogs and even video clips. Once posted, a new home page becomes readily accessible to anyone voyaging in cyberspace. Messages eventually pour in as each child builds up a bigger and bigger network of online contacts - all well away from prying eyes of parents and teachers. Nor is a home page necessary to get talking online. Chatrooms are constantly buzzing with youngsters talking to each other. And they're not the only ones at it.

Chatting online is largely harmless and shows teenagers being teenagers. Although blogs and chatrooms enable them to speak openly about issues they usually find difficulty in discussing, they may not realise that they are axing all notions of privacy as they spill out information and anecdotes about themselves, their family and friends. But there is a darker layer lurking beneath the frothy surface justifying adults' concern about their children's vulnerability to smut/violent content, paedophilia and financial traps.

The most worrying factor is the anonymity that shrouds those sending messages making it super easy to lie about oneself or pose as someone else. Chatrooms have spawned weirdoes that aren't easy to pin down and identify. The escalating phenomenon of cyber-bullying is almost outdoing vicious teasing at school for there is no teacher who can witness or overhear abusive behavior. Nor is there the possibility of other youngsters stepping in. The spectre of a modern day Lord of the Flies is not farfetched. Childhood does not come with a guarantee of unsullied innocence, but with a huge vulnerability, especially vulnerable to bullies and warped individuals (of all ages).

The widespread use of computers has led to countless children spending hours chatting online. Sometimes, they even meet up with strangers they would have got talking to in cyberspace. Although many are aware of the dire consequences of being gullible, they look upon chatting online as a game. Despite the risks involved, banning children from chatrooms is counter-productive primarily because of the lure of forbidden fruit and also because it's so much a part of growing up in the 21st century. Furthermore, it's vital for them to learn to recognise and keep away from danger. This is the way to brace up for the wicked ways of the world. Listening to children discussing safety on the internet shows that a good many of them regard its misuse as abuse, yet unsurprisingly the threat of getting ensnared is at times taken lightly.

Parents too need to be responsible for not remaining in the dark about what goes on in media-rich bedrooms rather than be content that the computer is keeping their kids quiet. Indeed while a computer is an absolutely necessity in any home, it doesn't necessarily follow that children have to have IT access in their own private dens. Quite frankly this can wait until they get to Sixth Form age. In the meantime, they can make use of a family computer placed in the hub of the home if they want to surf the internet. This arrangement makes it easier for parents to keep an eye on what is going on, given that they don't spend all day and all evening out of the house.

One of the best ways of reiterating the dangers poised by chatting on line is to involve children in a dramatic presentation of a life-reflecting situation. This steers clear from "preaching mode" while impressing lessons for life. It also provides a spin off for eye-opening discussion. This is in fact the ethos under-lining the Drama Unit's Theatre-in-Education programmes which to-date have homed in on a long list of topical issues including the environment, people with special needs, and racism. One of their recent playlets, aimed at Form 3 and 4 students, focused on Michael who is cyber bullied while chatting on the internet by a group of individuals he doesn't even know.  He goes on the net to chat about his problems but gets much more than he bargained for. Although he is goaded on to commit suicide, Michael sees the light of day and the story ends on a happy note.

Significantly, students who watched the performance had no difficulty in seeing the bully as "the personification of evil and the one who was abusing his use of the internet most". However, several students argued that both the victim and the cyber friends had misused the internet, since Michael had naïvely opened up about his problems online, while the cyber friends had betrayed his trust. Many of the young ones agreed that he had been lucky in not ending up badly.

The agony of e-bullying is as real as the heinous online-related crimes that have taken place. But the internet is also a wonderful tool and intrinsic to our IT-driven lifestyles. We need to guide children and teenagers to be responsible when they go online, not to trust strangers they get talking to and definitely not to meet up with them. Moreover, we must spell out that cyber friendships can never substitute real and true relationships. They need to be convinced that talking about personal problems online is simply not on.

What children say"I think that like every other danger that faces teenagers: drugs, smoking, etc, you just have to be careful and if in doubt, tell someone because you can't go on in life being unable to do anything because it's not safe. I know what the dangers are and have met some 'funny' characters while online, but the best you can do is ignore them and leave the chatroom. Follow the rules you have been given and you should be safe." Gillian (12)

"I think it's safe if you let it be. I know never to give out personal details to anyone I don't know. If I feel uncomfortable at anytime, I know how to get off and tell an adult I trust." Hayley (14)

"Whenever you're in a chatroom, it's always a good idea to be careful. The only details you should give over the net is your name. I think that sites should moderate their chatrooms at all times." Josh (13)

"I think that chatrooms are good because it's a way to talk to people and work on your social skills." Hannah (13)

"I use chat up lines all the time. Who cares who you are talking to as long as you have a good laugh and don't meet up with them?" Gregory (15)

"I think that chatrooms are great. You can meet interesting people from all over the world and so chatrooms can be fun. I don't think that people should be put off using them, but they need to be told about the dangers and should always remember that if they feel unsafe, they can just leave." Joe (14)

"I think that chatrooms are unsafe and also unfair because they build people's hopes up." Judy (12)

"Instant Messenger is great because you can only talk to people you know, so I go on that." Grace (13)

"I don't use chatrooms very often and when I have, I've found that teen sites haven't just teens on them. They also have older people, in their 30s and older. I think that's sickening." Emma (13)

"I don't use chatrooms because you don't know who you are talking to." Rachel (14)

"I don't think that children/teens should be banned from chatrooms. I do, however, believe that chatrooms need to be safer. I think it's a bit of an extreme to ban us altogether! Not all of us abuse the privilege and not all of us are careless people who don't know the dangers of chatrooms." Amber (14)

"Saying that all online chatters are weirdoes is stereotypical, not everyone is like that." Rhian (12)