Behind every great man...

I was fascinated with last Friday's (December 8) TV programme Xarabank. The debate was on mothers who work out of the home as opposed to mothers who stay at home and look after their children.

The panel, as well as the comments coming from the audience present, were well balanced. Hats off to Peppi Azzopardi who managed to keep such a hot argument under control, sealing off lose ends of skirmishes with witty but sensible remarks.

Herbert Messina Ferrante did a good presentation, however pertinacious, either following a set of rules, surveys (which were not local) and quotes which to me seemed more or less a result of encrustation borne over years of set beliefs.

The ladies present on the panel were outstanding, full of verve, speaking out of experience and not out of the need to impose anything. The point was stressed efficiently and without any clamorous declarations meant to offend.

All this leaves me in perplexity as to why men in general should feel the need to dictate on matters regarding where and what a mother's place should be. Babies did not come with a manual attached, and yet nature and free will has provided mothers to learn through their own mistakes, often with some unfortunate results.

A "mother's intuition" can safely extend as far as taking a decision about what to do with her life without being dictated to. The best scenario is when a couple can work in tandem to promote a happy and well-balanced lifestyle for themselves, thus transmitting a good healthy background to their children.

I have nothing but admiration for the clear example of the two fathers who wholeheartedly decided to join their wives in the upbringing of their children and the smooth running of the household. This is the kind of spirit that is needed to make positive changes. Their strength has not allowed an old belief to rule their lives and, instead, joined forces in promoting a strong co-habitation within the family.

The idea that women are only now emancipating or are developing some kind of intelligence is indeed a fallacy. It is interesting to know that in ancient cultures and traditions, deities were highly regarded and esteemed. No male ever took a decision without first consulting his female counterpart. It has been the woman's innate wisdom, intuition and power that has traumatised man to the point of needing to smother and even ridicule her.

The idea of a dominant father and rigorous rules have become outdated and useless. Marriage, when seen through clear lenses, should present not a battlefield over who has to dominate, but rather a fertile ground of understanding, cooperation and, most importantly, love.