Give them a gong

Around about this time of year, our movers and shakers start lining up at The Palace in Valletta to receive their gongs... or Gieh ir-Repubblika. And why not? If they've earned them then give 'em one.

But we reckon there are hundreds, if not thousands, more Maltese and non-Maltese out there who are far more deserving of some national recognition. And... since Gieh ir-Repubblika is the only official pat on the back we do, let's tidy up the honours list and make sure these deserving citizens get one... and why they qualify.

I mean, it's not like joining the Freemasons or the Knights Templars or something. So let's spread our patriotic largesse net a little wider include the following deserving candidates:

This year Gieh ir-Repubblika should go to:

George Pullicino... for services to the construction industry.

George W. Bush (an honorary Gieh)... for services to world peace... Ha!

Richard Cachia Caruana... for services to the Belgian real estate industry.

Victor Borg... for services to the urbanisation of Gozo.

Tony Blair (an honorary Gieh)... For services to spin.

Alfred Sant... for services to the Nationalist Party.

Lawrence Gonzi... For services to Ic-Caqnu.

Maurice Tanti Burlò... for services to the sanitary engineering industry.

Dr Toni Abela... for services to the law courts' security.

Lino Farrugia... for services to endangered species 'conservation' - ha!

Joe Sultana... for real services to conservation.

Fabrizio Faniello... for (indirect) services to the Eurovision Song Contest.

Robert Abela... for services to the Fabrizio fan club.

The President of Ireland (again honorary)... for passing on tips on how to actually win the bloody Eurovision Song Contest.

Grace Borg... for services to the Maltese language.

Mary Anne Gauci... for services to total traffic gridlock!

The British High Commissioner (another honorary one)... for services to the sons and daughters of wealthy Maltese.

Bertu Mizzi... for services to the Swiss economy.

The chairman of Air Malta, Lawrence Zammit... for services to Ryanair.

The chief executive of Ryanair, Michael O Leary (an honorary one)... for services to Maltese travellers.

The Air Malta inflight catering service... for services to the gaxin industry.

Parliamentary Secretary Toni Abela... for services to investigative journalism.

Osama Bin Laden (well, why not? Ceaucescu got one) (an honorary one)... for services to Western solidarity.

Giovanna Debono... for services to the photographic industry.

Dr Joseph Mifsud... for services to Sliema Wanderers... ahem!

Muammar Gaddafi (yes, another honorary one)... for services to Dom Mintoff.

Charles Polidano... for services to machismo.

Christian Sinding (an honorary one)... for lumbering us with 'Brand' Malta.

Philip Fenech... for services to Frankie Mifsud.

Norman Lowell... for unintentional services to the far left.

Saviour Balzan... for services (and contributions) to the Dom Mintoff, Bertu Mizzi and Louis Buhagiar libel funds.

Dusan Fitzel (the Malta national football coach - an honorary Gieh)... for helping us win our first international in 13 years.

Wayne Rooney, Rio Ferdinand, Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard (all honorary)... for services to English literature.

Karmenu Vella... for services to the GWU.

Tony Zarb... for services to the UHM.

Brand Malta... for no reason other than the fact that it gave us a good laugh.

John Camilleri... For services to PBS, Telemalta, The Trade Fair Corporation, ETC, Malta Freeport, Middle Sea Insurance, Mid-Med Bank, the European Commission, oh yeah and Eddie Fenech Adami.

And finally:

Austin Gatt... for services to... Austin Gatt.