Smart move

Welcome to the unofficial Website of Malta's spanking new IT mega-city, to be known as www.austin'sfolly.com

Yes, Websurfer, you have landed on the European Union's premium white elephant Website... (4,006 hits today alone)

Menu:

Home page

Villas

Luxury Apartments

Open Spaces

Shopping Malls

Yacht Marina

Photographs

Links

Guest Book

Oh yes... IT facilities

Villas:

Discover your dream villa at Smart City, Malta.

Your piece of Mediterranean heaven in Ricasoli.

All luxury Smart Villas have five bedrooms, each with a bathroom en suite, three reception rooms, fully fitted kitchen, air-conditioning throughout and solar-powered central heating, Olympic-size swimming pool, fitness centre with personal trainer on 24-hour call, tropical garden, six-limo garage, security cameras in every room (yes, including the seven bogs), servants' quarters/granny annexe, cinema/DVD complex, smoke detectors, smoker detectors, fully equipped operating theatre, night club/disco, citrus orchard, children's zoo, stud for her (every Wednesday), bimbo for him (every Friday), state-of-the-art computer room, waste recycling plant, squash and tennis courts, home oil refinery, soundproofed recording studio, helipad, 18-hole golf course, utility room and septic tank.

All this for the price of just Lm5 million (excluding commissions).

Open spaces include... 16 full-size football pitches, luna park, ice and roller rink, bouncy castle compound, safari park, dog-walking open air WC area, light aircraft landing strip, the largest picnic area in the southern Med, 15 outdoor lidos with changing and catering facilities, big game fishing pond, Mnajdra theme park, manicured lawns (with real grass), boating lake, litter bin, mini-monte, crematorium, white water rafting facilities and playground.

Shopping Malls:

Our 43 shopping malls contain all the up-market names: Dolce & Gabbana, Bulgari, Garrards, Ralph Lauren, Rolex, Austin Gatt... sorry, that should read Austin Reed, Harvey Nichols, Harrods, Fortnum & Mason, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Azzopardi Fisheries, Gucci, Macys, The General Trading Company, Lamborghini and Wembley Stores.

Our Yacht Marina is the largest in the southern Med:

It has berthing facilities for over 1,000 full-size billionaires' gin-palaces, as well as accommodation for lesser vessels, such as those seen cluttering up the harbours at Monaco and San Tropez.

The unique feature of the Smart City yacht marina is that it is built around the luxury apartments, not in the middle of them. So each luxury apartment has a view of the yacht marina. Relax on the balcony of your seven-figure luxury apartment and enjoy a sundowner as you gaze out over a vast panoply of luxury seacraft and inhale a heady concoction of diesel fumes, sea spray and raw sewage. Ahhhhhhh, you're in heaven! (Or you soon will be if you keep breathing in that lot).

Our marina is also equipped with a state-of-the-art boatyard with facilities for all kinds of boat repair, radar and ultra-sound maintenance, helicopter and mini-sub repair and maintenance, stateroom refurbishment and redesigning, helipad installation, septic tank emptying and scraping congealed puke off the deck services.

Links:

cloudcuckooland.com
alqaedainthemed.org
richbastardsmailordertrivia.com
austin'sfolly/legacy.com
pleasebuyoneofourcrappyvillasdavidbeckham.net

Guest Book:

"I liked it better when it was the Coliseum"... Bertu from Bormla,

"Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Onorevoli, you deserve a medal."... Trevor Said Bonaci, secretary Benghajsa Nationalist Party club.

"What bright spark forgot to include any car parks?"... Jeremy Clarkson.

"As usual they've ignored us poor bloody hunters and built all over good hunting land."... Lino F.

PS: Oh yeah, and we also have one or two IT companies camped up there.