The alcoholic

It's very, very easy to criticise somebody who has a vice, particularly one which is noticeable. We all have vices. Some of us smoke, some use drugs, some eat as if food were in fashion and not easy to obtain daily, others swear as if there were no repercussions to their swearing after they pass on to the other life.

Alcoholics in Malta have increased over the past few years, especially among young people.

Although alcoholics do not ask for help, they need it. Alcoholism is a disease. We cannot lecture, blame or scold those who suffer from alcoholism. We wouldn't be angry at them if they had TB or diabetes. It's useless to pour away any alcohol a person has in front of him or her because he or she will always find ways of obtaining more.

We must not let alcoholics provoke our anger. If they are attacked verbally or physically, they will only confirm their bad opinion they have of themselves - and only God knows how they hate themselves already.

If we as wives, husbands, parents, sisters or brothers assume alcoholics' responsibilities, their sense of guilt will be increased and family members will feel resentful. We cannot accept any promises alcoholics might make. They will make any promise to get off the hook. These are to be pitied because the nature of their illness prevents them from keeping their promises, even though they do mean them at the time.

Nobody must make empty threats out of a deep love for the alcoholic. Once somebody quite close to the alcoholic makes a decision, he or she must stick to it. Half of all an alcoholic says may be lies. Denial of reality is a symptom of their illness. Moreover they are likely to lose respect for those they can fool so easily. No one must let the alcoholic take advantage of them or exploit them in any way. Love cannot exist for long without justice.

It's very easy to cover up for the alcoholic or try to spare them the consequences of their drinking. It is also easy to lie for them, pay their bills or meet their obligations, but in the long run it may avert or reduce the very crises that would prompt them to seek help.

Each and every alcoholic can continue to deny their drinking problem as long as those who love them provide an automatic escape from the consequences of their drinking. The alcoholic's family must learn all they can about alcoholism and our role in relation to the person with the problem.

We should attend open AA meetings when we can, read the literature and keep in touch with Al-Anon members. They're the people who help one see the whole situation clearly. The excessive drinker of today might be the alcoholic of tomorrow.

One doesn't need to start drinking early in the morning to be an alcoholic. The alcoholic though has to be drunk every single day. One, two, three or more drinks will not satisfy him but one, two or three bottles might.

Pity the alcoholic and his or her family but do not condemn them. Who knows if somebody you love might have the disease?