Doubt as a mixed blessing

How often does it happen to us that we find ourselves facing someone we are looking for, and yet fail to recognise him? The same thing happens when we have been looking for something we urgently need, and then it is exactly at the point when we are about to give up searching that, almost as if struck by lightning, we soon become aware that it has been there staring at us all the time.

In today's Gospel, taken from St Luke, we read that Our Lord's disciples had found themselves precisely in that situation. "We are back to square one!", they must have muttered to each other. That a dead man comes back to life is not an everyday experience. And yet their judgment this time was completely wrong.

Almost all of a sudden Jesus became present in their midst. "Peace be upon you," he said, "it is myself, do not be afraid!" Full of terror, the disciples thought they were seeing an apparition. And so, coming to their rescue, Jesus showed them his hands and his feet, still marked by the signs of the crucifixion, and invited them to touch them.

At this point Jesus must have surmised that they were still not altogether convinced. So he asked them if they had anything to eat. When they placed some roast fish and a honeycomb before him, he shared it with them. This must have finally convinced them of his identity; so much so that at that point Jesus could finally give them further instructions regarding the mission which they were being called to accomplish after his departure from this earth.

Our attitude towards Jesus and his teachings is often not quite different from that of his disciples. When we do not entirely fail to understand Our Lord's teachings, or what He expects of us at a given situation, there always lurks the danger that we misinterpret them to our advantage, to avoid being faced by their challenges.

We do not have to admit that many of our beliefs and ideas about Jesus and his message may correspond to 'our own way' rather than his, that we are not following him as much as we are accommodating him to our own patterns.

When all is said and done, we must not miss altogether the fact that doubt can be a mixed blessing at times. If our doubts concern something of some importance, they can drive us to a further and more serious inquiry in our effort to solve them. They can lead us to discover a deeper meaning in them and open before us new realities.

"Doubt is the father of discovery," wrote the famous scientist Galileo Galilei. I suppose it is true to say that most great scientific discoveries, which have changed radically our way of life during the past two centuries or so, have been the result of serious efforts on the part of great scientists to eliminate doubts within certain given areas.

The challenge which today's Gospel reading puts to us is to search out humbly to discover the real meaning of Jesus's message. It suggests to us the need to pray to the Lord, that our mind may be always open to the truth as He himself has presented it and is all the time presenting to us, and not as we may like to hear it. Hence our continual prayer should run somewhat like this: "Dear Lord, teach me to know you more clearly, to love you more dearly and to follow you more nearly!"