Trials of a family struck by childhood cancer

Normal life is a distant dream for a close-knit family whose youngest member, a 12-year-old daughter, was diagnosed with cancer two months ago.

The happier days may not be so far away but they are likely never to return, says the father of the family, who wishes to remain anonymous to protect his daughter's privacy.

The family has been too scarred by the shock of their daughter's illness, and even if all goes well and the two-year treatment is successful, life will never be the same after this trauma, he maintains.

That is not to say that he has thrown in the towel, or that he is negative and pessimistic - at least not with his daughter in front of whom he and his wife put up more than just a brave face, making sure they keep her occupied and distracted.

"We are always joking around to make sure she does not smell our mood," they say. "We are suffering to see her suffering. That is the hardest part."

Their daughter was leading a normal life until her parents decided to check out a mild swelling in her neck. Other than that, everything seemed fine... until test upon test revealed that she had cancer.

"Telling her was a traumatic experience. She is very bright and knew exactly what cancer was. The irony of it all is that she had just done a school project on the illness. She was almost too prepared."

The reaction: she was shocked, but children have a way of bouncing back.

Meanwhile, as if having a sick child was not enough, the parents are now being faced with other worries and problems - particularly of a financial nature.

With illness comes the need for treatment, and with treatment comes the need to travel overseas in this case. The family is destined to spend about eight weeks in the UK while their daughter is treated at the Royal Marsden Hospital.

While the government has an arrangement to provide free medical services in the UK, families have to undergo a means test to see whether the patient (and only the patient) is eligible for a free flight, the father points out. Then there's the accommodation, which can run into thousands of liri, plus food, transport and the many other spiralling costs of living in London.

While the father is fortunate enough to have a stable job and has found strong support from the company he works for and his colleagues, who have even offered him their leave and raised funds, these woes are completely extra when trying to keep your wits about you and come to terms with a child's sickness.

"I have problems at work because it is so hard to concentrate and because I need incredible amounts of leave." Others have even worse problems, he admits, and risk losing their job.

And there are other issues: "We have to leave our elder child behind. Although she can stay with the family, we know she will be homesick, so we are trying to find a way to get her up to visit us for a week although there would be a problem of space.

"She will be sitting for her O levels next year, so we cannot afford to pull her out of school for education reasons. We are very concerned for her too because we are a very close-knit family."

Luckily, they also have a strong belief in God, which is keeping them going. "We pray together and always thank Him for the day..."

Then there is Wonderland, St Luke's Hospital ward for children suffering from cancer, which offers a warm and welcoming environment and has become a second home for the 12-year-old cancer sufferer.

It is currently home for two patients, with another two coming in for treatment.

The ward is equipped with DVDs, TV sets, games, computers, plus a kitchenette for the parents, which makes their lives easier. They even have a bed to be able to sleep near their children - "normally you would only have a chair," the family points out.

"Our daughter feels safe and the staff is excellent, offering complete cooperation. The consultant, Victor Calvagna, takes care of the children as if they are his own. The nurses are our friends and we share experiences with the other families," her parents say.

Indeed, they are not alone. Another two families have to travel to the UK over the next month, and one will be spending four months there. These families need financial support and are looking for a place to live, says Rita Allen, the nurse in charge of the ward, explaining how the need to travel aggravates the problems and the hassles parents already face.

"Thank God for the Puttinu Cares Children's Cancer Support Group, which is helping us a lot. In fact, it is the only help," says the father. The support group was formed to ease the problems young cancer patients and their families have to face and it seems to be doing a good job.

Among other activities, it will be holding a three-day football marathon at the Marsa Sports Ground between 10 a.m. on March 31 and 10 p.m. on April 2.

The main objective of the 60-hour marathon is to bring together as many people as possible to participate in a sporting event and, at the same time, raise awareness of the needs of young cancer patients.

For further information, contact Geraldine Sciberras on 2131 7448 or via e-mail at info@puttinucares.org.