Conservative innovation

Unless the message should be "innovative conservatism" - which equally intrigues - this seems to be the political compromise of the millennium (cf John Dalli, The Sunday Times, January 22: "The process of innovation should include all genders [in reality there are only two, I think], ages and ideologies embraced by all stakeholders.") I believe the reference to "embracing all ideologies" to be Mr Dalli's genuine attempt at moving the PN away from arrogance - if the opportunity presents itself to really strike a blow for innovation.

"Conservative innovation" is not a very harmonious expression unless the rigid conservatives in the PN stop dominating the party and allow it to move a little to the left - as in the exciting days of attempted, but failed, apertura in the early 1990s. For you cannot easily be conservative and innovative at the same time.

In order to stop giving the impression that conservatives take orders from confessional conurbations, Christian Democrats have even attempted to shed this contradictory title. For can you be democratic and hostile to religious inclusion at the same time? Or is a democrat different from a democratic person? The modern political appellation of the conservatives has become "popular" - an expression obviously hijacked and stolen from the left and worn very clumsily by the right. Imagine changing from conservative to popular in a quivering tongue-twister!

Whatever happened to cohabitation law?

Did you say innovation? The "cohabitation law" promoted by the PN in the 1990s and shot down by the staunchest of conservatives in the party was a genuine - albeit awkward - attempt at innovation. It was a compromise between normal (sic) separation and divorce. In the general election of 2008 divorce (accepted in the whole world except Malta) will surely and increasingly be an issue that will lose and gain votes - according to how conservative or progressive you are. People today seem more and more in favour of this civil right - the right to form a new family if unfortunate circumstances demand it. It is not going to be easy for the PN to compromise on this issue. After having a less sensible solution than divorce thrown out by the political sacristy and the falsely innovative conservatism which allows no new ideas or solutions, there may well be those in the PN who will also insist that the aborted cohabitation law should also be anathemised in a frenzy Constitution as it may be distantly related to abortion.

Weak and strong

The core and outer administration of the MLP were not changed or even challenged during the last general conference. Demi-Christian analysis interpreted this as a weakness. Some time before, the core administration was being called by the same demi-Christians as too strong and rigid. The logic beats the syllogism.

Labourites of the pépé

What is the country coming to, dear? First we had champagne socialists and now Lejboristi of the pépé. Strange fashions, if you ask me. As our PM, bless his innovative soul, likes to say in Parliament as he makes half the sign of the cross: "U patri u tfilju u..."(And daddy; and the little one; and...) Nowadays we are living in bizarre times. You go to a party and you come across ex-Nats telling you that voting Gonzi next time is just an "as if". You go to a reception and, after you show courtesy to former Nats of the pépé conviction, they react with a sweet "taanks" in excellent Anglo-Maltese. They even whisper that "they have had it up to here with these... these... what shall I call them?" New Labourites of the pépé must be invading Malta's social life in a sort of political sabotage. They even suggest what I should write in my articles! And I do listen to them sometimes.

Excusing my French

A different category of admiring proofreaders have been suggesting ways I could improve my Francophile English. These include portly buxom sad chicks teaching English, high-browed doctored doctors from Transylvania and especially very lonely blogging introverts with a pinch of agoraphobia - at least. I will try to cooperate - while you excuse my French.

Amnesty for divers

Divers pillaging rich old wrecks at the sea bottom and keeping the finds for themselves are prosecuted. And that's the way it should be. But there was recently talk of amnesty for divers who may have kept found objects for themselves. The government was not enthusiastic about giving amnesty to the few divers who may have not handed in their finds to the state. In what position is the state placing these divers when refusing amnesty? The answer is obvious and the cultural state is the loser.

Raincoats in Paris

As a student in Paris, I soon realised that the few extreme-right students wore raincoats even on a beautiful sunny day - which made them look a tad sinister. I was intrigued and sometimes spoke to them in spite of their cold, wary attitude and their reputation of never wanting to mix with non-raincoats. My French camarades used to tell me to stay away from the raincoat people as these often carried chains under their raincoats - in case they felt like using a convincing argument with leftist students. I never did check if the fachos - as my friends called them - actually carried chains around their waists as I never tried to frisk them - not even the pretty Parisian facho girls. At the same time I heard stories of chain lessons offered free of charge by the fachos to romantic intellectual leftists.

The intellectual, artistic, pedagogical Europe of now and of then surprises local fachos by its persistence with socialist affinity. Ironically fachos in Malta, claiming to defend the West, are only defending leftist thinking European cultural structures and intellectualism. But local facho paradoxical chains do not surprise me. So far I can see them in the mouths, in the scared anonymous pens and around hopelessly rigid minds; but I would not be surprised to see them in desperation around the waists.

Buying, selling and whipping

Our PM is astounded when told by shopkeepers that people are not buying but staying away from shops. He says that "this cannot be". Perhaps, to be more convinced that this "can indeed be", he should spend some time in different shops and watch the shopkeeper yawn all day. If the few rich in Malta are not affected by the massive fuel, water and electricity surcharges, it doesn't mean that the middle and lower economic classes are having a jolly good time in shopping sprees. These simply have no money for shopping. And saying that "this cannot be" is simply a lack of contact with the people who like to complain more often nowadays about soprataxxi bastonati - as the Italo-Maltese expression goes - generously distributed by a Gonzian government enthusiastically bent on taxing the least cough and the least whiff of honest wage-earning citizens.

Dr Licari teaches psycholinguistics, sociolinguistics and geolinguistics at the Department of French of the University of Malta.