Family matters

Tomorrow, thousands will be making an extra effort to show a loved one how much they care - some, perhaps, in an attempt to heal a damaged relationship. Sometimes, the whole family needs some form of special attention because of difficulties it may be passing through. Claudia Calleja spoke to Clarissa Sammut-Scerri, the president of the recently launched Maltese Association of Family Therapy and Systemic Practice.

It is tempting to think of ourselves as autonomous individuals but the truth is that there is a select group of people to whom we are inextricably linked.

Family members are bound together by an invisible cord. When one member has a problem, the tension resonates in all other family members. When one member becomes withdrawn, the others feel a pang. When one tries to sever ties, the others feel pain.

If problems crop up within the family unit some choose to ignore them or deal with them in their own way. Others, however, opt to try and tackle an unsettling situation with professional help.

Counselling psychologist and family therapist Clarissa Sammut-Scerri explained that family therapy takes into consideration the fact that, when a family member is having difficulties, all the members are affected.

This approach gives importance to each one's impact and ideas about the problem and provides them with the opportunity to work on their relationships hand in hand, as it were.

"Different families who have attended sessions tell us that what they like about family therapy is the fact that they sit together in the presence of a therapist and this provides them with the opportunity to discuss and explore different ways of looking at their situation. This helps them to find a way forward.

"I recall one family member saying that this was the first time that the family had gathered together in one room to discuss a problem.

"Family members also tell us that what they like is that the therapist is not interested in blaming anyone. Instead, she or he asks questions in order to understand how the family members are 'stuck' in their difficulties and how they can become 'unstuck'," Ms Sammut-Scerri said.

Clearly, family therapy does not involve shifting the burden or blame onto one person's behaviour but it is all about helping family members understand why one person may be behaving in a certain way. It is about overcoming stumbling blocks together - as a family.

Families who can benefit from family therapy include those who have difficulties in relating to one another. They could be couples with marital difficulties, parents who are worried about their children's behaviour, families going through a separation, families facing death in the family or unemployment, or families who have suffered some kind of physical, psychological or sexual abuse.

While families of any size or structure, or with any form of difficulty, are eligible to such therapy, there is one rule, Ms Sammut-Scerri stressed - safety first. If there has been some form or abuse, the family is first referred for help elsewhere and family therapy would be the next step.

Describing the setting of a therapy session, Ms Sammut-Scerri said it would usually take place in a therapy room where the family will be seen either by a therapist working alone or by a therapist and an observer (or a team of one or two observing therapists) sitting behind a one-way mirror.

The observing therapist is important because of the presence of more than one family member in the room, to help the therapist better understand the complexity of the family's behaviour.

The family therapist first gets to know the family members and then talks to them about their difficulties, strengths and successes.

"The therapist will ask questions and will want to hear from all the family members who attend about what it is that the family wants to change and what they can do to help achieve this change. Everyone's view is important including that of the children."

Families undergoing family therapy are usually aware that there is a problem and want to solve it. But what happens if one member refuses to attend therapy?

"Because family therapists make it a priority to hear every family member's perspective, everyone is invited to attend at least one session. If, for various reasons, family members do not or cannot attend, sessions are still held with the other persons but the absent members are kept in mind and in the conversation."

One question demands to be asked. Are Maltese families open to such therapy? Ms Sammut Scerri replied that because Maltese people generally have their family at heart, they would accept to go to therapy to nurture it.

The first family therapy service in Malta was set up in 1995 within the Social Welfare Development programme, now Appogg. Three years later, another was created within Sedqa, the agency which caters for families with substance abuse difficulties. Various indicators show that Maltese families who avail themselves of this therapeutic approach are highly satisfied, she said.

Last month, over 10 years since the first family therapy service was introduced to the island, the Maltese Association of Family Therapy and Systemic Practice was set up. Ms Sammut-Scerri is its president.

The association comes with a set of ambitious objectives which include promoting the highest level of competence and quality in the practice, research, supervision and teaching of family therapy and related fields. It also wants to facilitate national and European co-operation and exchange of ideas and experience among individuals and institutions concerned with families. It seeks to establish and maintain standards in the profession, enhance the training of systemic family therapists at national and European levels and disseminate information about family therapy and the systemic approach to those concerned with the health and development of families and human systems.

The association is made up of individuals with an interest in the proliferation of family therapy and systemic practice. All nine family therapists in Malta belong to it, as do students of this specialisation and others who have the interest of families at heart.

Now, thanks to the new association, these people can all meet and share experiences and ideas. "Like in any other profession, the benefit of belonging to an association is that there is synergy from the unity of different people coming together to achieve a common vision.

"Since the association is also part of the European Family Therapy Association, our members can also contribute to the European agenda and, among other things, be part of exchanges involving research and practice opportunities.

"In order to enhance the training of systemic family therapists at a national and European level, the association can also facilitate links and exchanges between local and European professional centres."

Ms Sammut-Scerri is full of enthusiasm for the association, which although young has a lot of aspirations. One goal includes promoting family therapy and the systemic approach among professionals who work with families, as a way of better understanding family difficulties and the dynamics of groups and organisations.

"We would like more Maltese families to know what this therapy involves and how it is a treatment of choice for problems ranging from marital difficulties to depression, alcoholism, drug abuse and anorexia in adolescents, to name a few.

"We would also like to see more family therapy settings in different areas of development, such as mental health settings and education," she said.

Anyone interested in contacting or joining the association can send an e-mail to the secretary on ruthforven@hotmail.com.

For a healthy family relationship

Try, as much as possible, to put yourself in the other person's shoes. This applies both to adults relating to each other and to parents relating to children and vice-versa.

Have fun together.

As a couple, set time aside for each other apart from the children, work, etc.

Mind the blaming, judging or negative statements or, better still, avoid them altogether.