For many of us, each Christmas and holiday season seems to increasingly become more hectic than the last. Shopping, festivities, presents, cards, noise... No wonder some people feel it is a truly draining time, too much to handle and grasp. Christmas is known as a time of love, but it has become more a time of doing, buying, eating out, etc. for many. The worst that could happen is that amidst this blind rush, significant others, family, relatives and close friends, are taken for granted.

We may be interested in buying them presents but miss to appreciate their presence in our lives. Maybe this is not hard either, because from experience we could have learned that it is easier to give a gift in appreciation rather than to be present to the person you love.

Maybe before we start thinking about the New Year's promises, whether realistic or just wishful thinking, we can start right now with some simple changes in our life, but which guarantee lasting positive effects. This year, let's try to spend more time, rather than money, withour families, especially with our children. The following are some practical steps of how to reach this goal.

Start a new "togetherness" custom this year.

Spend a few minutes together for example, at the youngest child's bedtime, singing a carol or sharing a holiday wish. A few minutes of daily "quality time" can help make the holiday season calm and peaceful for everyone. Make time together a consistent priority.

Do something together for somebody else.

Volunteer to help a neighbour or relative decorate, visit a sick friend in hospital or at home. Doing something of service together is an excellent way to teach your children to give as well as to get.

Limit your Christmas (or holiday) activities.

Rather than trying to squeeze many activities you think "should" be included, try to choose the most important or relevant item or two. This must be done in agreement with all the family. Once identified, you may really enjoy it without any stress or rush. Other things may be done later on during the year.

Put health as your priority.

Living in a time of increasing stress, it is only paramount to make time for rest, enjoyment and exercise. But making time for this requires pressure too! Pay special attention to good health habits regarding nutrition, rest and physical exercise. Be sure your family gets enough sleep and eats regular meals, not just snacks or treats. Limit too much eating out. Christmas is not really about overeating, particularly in restaurants! Plan a walk together in the countryside. Make parties safe for all by limiting alcohol use. Unhealthy stress-relievers during this time could be drinking, overeating or compulsive activities.

Set safe limits for young people.

Children do best when they have reliable and predictable routines in place, even during this time. It's OK to limit presents too. The reason for this is that everyone has one's own breaking point. Too many presents can easily overwhelm children. We can say "no" to what our children want while saying "yes" to who they are.

Remember: old losses can surface during Christmas too.

Chances are that grief may catch us off-guard during this season. It is quite common to feel sad, with mixed feelings too, recalling special people in our lives whom we have lost, during this sentimental time. When this occurs, give yourself and your family permission to grieve, particularly if you have experienced significant losses or changes over the past 12 months (death in the family, separation, even moving to a different place, etc.).

The three As: Affection, Attention and Affirmation.

More than any gift, your family needs you. Your presence is much more helpful and essential than any present given at Christmas, or at any other time! Give them your attention, your affection and your time. Help them see their potential. Celebrate their greatest strengths. Only then can they share their true gifts with others.

Happy Christmas to all.

Dr Galea PhD is a psychologist

mgalea00@yahoo.com

Sign up to our free newsletters

Get the best updates straight to your inbox:
Please select at least one mailing list.

You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the link in the footer of our emails. We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing.