I.M. Beck - quote unquote

Last week was the first week of the real silly season, when our beloved politicians seem to succumb collectively to the torpor of summer.

This usually leaves me impaled neatly on the horns of a dilemma, in something of a mega-quandary one might say. Do I take the lead from these worthy ladies and gentlemen, and write a sort of holding column, keeping my place, as it were, until such time as someone does something particularly dumb, allowing me to dump stuff on him?

In a sense, I did this last week and, apart from the howls of derision from the Radically Revolting Rabble Rousers (of which more anon) I managed to raise a smile or two from people who sat up and took notice of that which I had wrote (now there's something to please JGPB, of which also more anon).

However, this week, a couple of cheap shots were taken in the political pot-shooting arena that gave me a peg on which to hang my political commentator's hat. Doctor Alfred Sant, a favourite target, has taken himself off on a jolly Down Under, where I am sure he's enjoying himself and saying things about which I could comment. However, far from eye, far from heart, if I might mangle a platitude, so I'll let him be.

No, the cheap shots were taken by others and they were taken in the context of two issues that are exercising the populace at large more than somewhat.

The opposition and its various mouthpieces have noticed a pretty neat problem with which to beat the government about the ears. This is the problem of illegal, involuntary, illicit and ill-timed immigration that is besetting the country. The RRRR is doing its level best to whip up some indignation among the great unwashed and such is the intolerance and unChristianity inherent in many exemplars of this genre that they're getting the impression they're doing a wonderful job. Actually, and happily, the losers of the RRRR are not doing much to impress anyone because bigotry and intolerance are going strong in Malta.

The opposition, on the other hand, is not a bunch of losers and when they start making silly cracks about the government being ineffectual and how the EU is not helping and suchlike, to say nothing of giving credibility to the RRRR by portraying them as a serious movement, then people like me have to put it about that the opposition is taking cheap shots.

Another area that is susceptible of description as a cheap shot gallery is this Y2K-style panic that is being whipped up about Asian/Avian/Bog-Standard flu and the lack of inoculations, planning in connection therewith, and similar mortal sins being laid at the door of the Minister of Health.

Now, anyone who reads my real-life scribblings knows that I don't tend to act as the jolly old minister's torch-bearer but taking potshots at him on this issue is cheap and nothing better. The Asian/Avian flu strain hasn't yet been defined and thus there are no inoculations to be stock-piled or whatever and the Bog-Standard flu jab might only be of peripheral help in combating the other one, even if there is an epi- or pandemic.

Instead of stirring up the sentiments of medically-challenged morons such as I, wouldn't the opposition be serving a more noble purpose if it were to forebear from chucking wild allegations at the minister?

But then, has it ever been said of the opposition that it passed up even a single opportunity to beat a minister about the head, even with a wet sheep? E-mails, to the usual address, complaining about the number of hoary chestnuts that went into that last sentence will be treated with the respect they deserve.

In their own words

Despite the dire warning on vivamalta.org that nothing that is published on that sad site should be reproduced without their permission, I am going to give you a few choice excerpts, cut and pasted, so you can see how these people emote (I was going to write "think" but that implies too much).

If they don't like it, they can sue me. The words within quotes are as written by their authors - don't blame me.

One of the people who posts on the site "went inside a Hunters Club while giving some leaflets in their hands they asked me who you are from? who's the leader/group from? As I retorted Norman Lowell! they grabbed me enthusiastically by asking me when a next meeting is going to be held? two of them demonsthrated their affectional fervement that they gave me their personal mob number so by that I can inform them when a public activity will gonna be held!"

Another of these gentlefolk, exulting in the 92 per cent vote they think they got in a survey held on this paper, left a comment, something like "We should not take more than 300 immigrants. We are taking more than our fair share of immigrants than the uk. We where never part in the colonising of Africa. Actually we where the once who colonised us". The nickname he uses is "Patriaomuerte", which says plenty.

One "Crusader" wrote that "The IMPERIUM is the hard shell around the white world. One IMPERIUM, one race. An Imperium made out of a few thousand elite, handpicked from the best and most promising individuals all around the white world and trained, taught and hardened through the best education known to man to be the guardians of the white race. A caste of warrior philosophers, the concentrated distillate of the best humanity has to offer, the peak of the pyramid around which the wide and solid base revolves, forever dedicated to the protection and advancement of the white race."

What can I add to that?

A new lad wrote "I'm new here. And I was one of those that were given the leaflet last Saturday. And I am still keeping this leaflet as a memory: I was here, when my country called for me! I offer my services on your next activities. I'm not shy or anything! I'd gladly join and tell others to join me and you, in this battle for survival!! AVE!!" This hero, who seems to think that being in Valletta and being handed a leaflet is a valiant response to his country's call to arms, glories under the name "Vulf"

The Master of the Three-Line Aphorism, Imperium himself (N. Lowell) wrote, in response to Daphne Caruana Galizia's sharp put-down of him and his fellow racists last Sunday, that "One day il-Bidwija will know exactly:/ what we would like to do to some women!/Oh yes!"

He then went on to get at the rest of us, in his usual style: "There are not enough lamp-posts! / Not enough for all the traitors: / all traitors! / Politicians, clergy, media moguls: / newspaper editors, androgenous columnists: / NGOs, do-gooders - the whole rot, the lot!"

Doesn't he make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Referring to a large cargo-plane the Russians use, one of the racists wrote about a post he had written earlier, saying that "In it you will find how I posted that such planes can be used to ferry these animals back to Africa, unannounced into Libya" This genius uses the name "Gladiator".

Someone else, don't remember the name, thought that dumping people from the back of the plane while airborne was a good idea.

An apologist of North Korea, one DPRK, wrote "It is Adolf Hitler to blame: he was too slow in the holocaust's accomplishment and, so, many Jews had enough time to flee away... Yet, there's no need to worry... Kim Jong il is very much unlike Adolf Hitler... he hates being slow !!!"

There's plenty more in this vein, some of which being so despicable that the moderators of the site actually remove the postings. I've kept some screen-shots but I think I've given you enough of an idea of the flavour of their sentiments - surf over there and have a look, by all means.

In fact, you should even register so you can have a look in the Members' Area as well - the worst that can happen is that the RRRR carries on deluding itself that the people of Malta are flocking to their colours.

Touchè

I still think that "God and His Mum's Hill" is an adequate translation of the name of that hill, though I suppose I have to bow to the true wearer of the silks as savant of semantics, Mr JGP Bonello, even if he has to split his infinitives in his own haste to gratuitously assume that my effort was not quite up to the mark.

He may have ignored many of my lapses in French, another language with which he is passingly familiar and I agree that, in Maltese, one should try to get il-bocca nearer to il-likk, but doing this by using words like "passingly" which don't exist, instead of "passably", which does, does tend to lay one open to a bit of the "back at you" now, doesn't it?

Perhaps some truly erudite master of tongues could settle this once and for all?

And just to show that I am not the be-all and end-all of knowledge, it has been gently pointed out to me that, apparently for the second time, I mixed up the Sacred Hill and the St Paul of the Step one. My old friend JGPB missed this. Too busy with the silks, I suppose.

Old friends

This hasn't been a week for trying out new nosheries but a few old friends were re-visited and enjoyable dividends reaped.

Thus, as a service to my myriad fans who like to know where to have a decent snack, last week, I stocked up on vitamins, calories and carbs at Merisi in South Street and Irrera and Mamma Mia in Ta' Xbiex and on all occasions, I was well pleased.

Oh, and before I forget: Chelsea, ay? What about them? One down, four to go.