Knighthood denied

Are all upper-class virtuosos rightists or are all rightists virtuosos? Quite an incidence of local crème de la creme or "titled" people - especially those that have obtained their title or honour locally - tend to support the right. However, it had for long dawned on me (later to be proven right) that some titles might be have been bestowed upon some as a direct consequence of their support to the right rather than as fruit of some honourable achievement. This attains political relevance in that it creates role models appealing to the excessive sense of servitude, well-cultivated in the majority of the Maltese "non-titled class". Needless to say, leftists enjoy automatic exclusion from the haut monde.

One could even investigate deeper into how such honorary title has been acquired. Some unpromising people are put in the right environment to learn their jobs by trial and error, through practice and practice, in the same way as mules learn to turn a windmill, and their intelligence is the fruit of breeding in the right environment and getting paid for it rather than an academic understanding of procedure.

Some would rather believe such concerns to be archaic. I don't anymore!

I was hardly trying to answer such frequently asked questions when, after having studied the history of Malta and, obviously, that of the Knights of St John in a lot of detail, I was browsing on the internet to see how one could become a knight. I asked for more information by filling an electronic application.

My internet application was promptly replied to by a phone call from someone who identified himself as a chevalier. He welcomed my background, my qualifications and interests and praised them and even said that I would be yet another asset to the Order. He did all his best to make membership inviting.

I expressed my doubts about whether I was really interested given different aspects which I would have liked to get more information about at that stage. But he kept on talking as if my membership had already been consented to. He stated that the only condition for not becoming a knight (or dame in my case) was that one couldn't be a member of a masonry club. Well, to this, I promptly snapped that I didn't even know what masonry was let alone knew anyone who practised it.

Being quite interested as to the role of the Order nowadays I asked more questions about its views regarding some ideological issues. I frankly told him I needed to know what ideological restrictions there were for joining and with what kind of ideologies would one be bound. The chevalier kept on insisting that these should not be a problem at all as the Order didn't really deal with such intimate matters.

The discussion went on endlessly (me still holding a plastic bag in hand as the phone call had interrupted my going out to the supermarket). Finally, I got to the crux of it all. It was time to speak about the fact that I was an active member of a political club. Only then did a female voice (obviously after getting the gist of the speech over the phone) start interrupting at the other end. The woman was screaming at the man and insisting that being a dame herself she had the right to know which was the political party I supported. The chevalier, like all men, tried to talk on and on in order to distract me from what the woman (presumably his wife) was insisting upon. I don't know if he really thought I wasn't understanding each and every word she was saying so loud was she screaming!

Upon his wife's insistence he at last blurted out: "Which political party do you support?" And I cracked "MLP, of course!" And it was to this that he started faltering his enthusiasm, instantly dying out. The domineering wife clamouring again: "You see! You see!" He stammered to explain that the Order kept away from Labour Party supporters especially because of the papers - I mean newspapers! Then he told me he would be phoning me in the future about the matter.

Almost one year has passed and he never phoned. My application to become a dame is still suspended. I am still wondering whether not being a mason meant not being Labour. Having a De Nava member of the 16th century in my direct line of ascendance (the family that had ceded their seat as rulers of Malta to the knights) and belonging to a party which never persecuted the Church but was persecuted by it - I wonder what kind of pardon was given to Labour supporters whose human rights were breached during the 1960s.

It is very rare that leftists fill in applications to become knights as such honours slip on a leftist's skin as water slips off a fish-skin - but curiosity did kill the cat in my case. Wanting to know what you needed to become a knight at this day and age... I discovered more than I should about the whole affair.

Well, speaking of exclusive clubs... and questioning what comes first: being titled or being rightist, I guess I'll never ask this again. Wish the honourable, honorary and honoured Grand Master knew of all this! Rome being so far away! Will the dear readers ever see me honoured with knighthood or is it that in my case knighthood is denied?