The Intricate relationship between an adoptive child and its adoptive parents, and the hurdles that have to be overcome, were explored yesterday by expert Sara Barratt during a seminar organised by Agenzija Appogg.

The seminar, "What Do Children and Parents Remember and Forget in Adoptive Families?", explored the different experiences that adoptive children and parents bring to the relationship.

Ms Barratt, head of systemic psychotherapy, Tavistock Clinic of London, said there was often a lot of silence surrounding issues related to adoption, especially the lack of a biological link.

She said the subject was not delved into because both the parents and the children tried to protect each other.

Many times the adoptive children felt second best, since frequently they know that their adoptive parents had tried and failed to have a biological baby before deciding to adopt.

"For some people it is difficult to talk to the child about what had happened before. They feel that by telling their child that they had tried to have children before, they would be telling him that he was second best," she explained.

On the same lines, even the adoptive parents seemed to feel second best to the child since they are not his biological parents.

However she added that it was important to support the child's curiosity about the past and it was also imperative to create an environment where children felt comfortable to ask questions.

When adoptive children searched for their biological family, they often feel that they are being disloyal to their adoptive parents, Ms Barrett said.

And when there were problems of attachment in adoptive families those involved had already had tragic breaks in their relationships - the children because they got separated from their biological parents.

On the other hand the adoptive parents also had a history of pain and loss in their attempts to have children, she explained.

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