Headline news
There's a game I sometimes play called fantasy headlines. It's a lot more fun than fantasy football or fantasy anything, and it's dead easy to play. All you have to do is imagine the sort of headlines you're not going to see in this, or any other,...
There's a game I sometimes play called fantasy headlines. It's a lot more fun than fantasy football or fantasy anything, and it's dead easy to play. All you have to do is imagine the sort of headlines you're not going to see in this, or any other, local newspaper.
Here's a sample of the sort of thing I mean:
Political discussion programmes on all Maltese TV channels banned for good!
White taxi driver wins Pope John XXIII Kindness Award.
YADA dancers learn new dance routine.
Malta's football team beat France 3-0 in Paris, to qualify for 2010 World Cup finals.
Mtahleb hunter wins World Wild-life Fund gold medal for "conserving" no fewer than six showcases full of stuffed endangered species.
In jewellery shop robbery case, policeman stands up in court and says he did see what happened and does recognise the accused, as the person responsible.
Tony Zarb wins Malta marathon
Antique cannons outside Castille, St John's and Gozo Cathedral to have 10,000 volts passed through each one, to dissuade tourists from mounting them
Mintoff accepts knighthood
Cruise liner fails to enter Grand Harbour after colliding with fish farm
Somali woman's sensational claim: "I am Norman Lowell's love-child"
Angelo Farrugia emerges from court not smirking
Golf course... latest: Frank Salt gives his blessing to proposed Verdala development of golf course. Angelo Xuereb replies: "Thanks a bunch. That's all I need".
KMB spotted looking for work in Sicily
MEPA gives swift decisions on all outstanding planning applications
Paceville declared European culture capital for 2005
Malta Land Force invades Gozo. Claims to have irrefutable intelligence that Giovanna is concealing weapons of mass destruction.
Cannabis and magic mushrooms liable to new eco-tax.
Boatload of Maltese asylum seekers rescued from small boat off Somali coast
Tony Blair to visit Malta:
Mr Tony Blair, painter and decorator of Hull, East Yorks, to spend 15-day holiday in Malta, at Cockroach View Holiday Complex.
PBS headquarters downsizes to portakabin
Alfred Sant sensation: Confesses: "My first gay snog was with Lou Bondi".
Tista' Tkun Int! wins Golden Rose of Montreux, for best comedy programme.
To offset cost of Malta's new EU embassy in Brussels, RCC ordered to do bed and breakfasts
Octogenarian ex-politician admits, to this newspaper, that he screwed up the country
The death penalty is abolished for everyone... except timeshare touts.
PM Gonzi takes a decision... and acts on it.
Portomaso development wins prestigious architectural award. Frank Lloyd Wright and Le Corbusier reported spinning in their graves.
Peppi Azzopardi gets a blue rinse
Doctors claim that bathing in raw sewage arrests the aging process:
Four-mile traffic jams form outside Birzebbuga.
Colonel Gaddafi buys Bidnija Sparrows Football Club
Malta withdraws permanently from competing in Eurovision Song Contest (I wish)
Super 1 TV newsreader fired for omitting to say "Doctor" before Alfred Sant
Government admits: Tendering process is flawed
Contract for Mater Dei maintenance goes to brother of minister.
Smoking ban in bars and restaurants comes into force today... OK tomorrow then... or maybe the day after... or...