Hoarse play

A lot more work goes on behind the scenes than that which appears on television (in this case Channel 30), when it comes, for instance, to finding volunteers who will (wo)man the telephone lines in a fund-raising activity such as Ohloq Tbissima.

The last few hours are being broadcast live as you read this - so as the chances are you have a telephone apparatus within reach, what remains is to dig deep into your pockets and make a donation, however small, to the Centru Animazzjoni Missjunarja projects of the Missionary Society of St Paul in St Venera.

So now we know. Not less than a whopping Lm250,000 were spent by PBS for the station to be able to broadcast the Champions League matches - along with the atrociously piddling commentaries that had many local viewers tuning in to foreign stations even when they do not understand the language.

For it is a well-known fact that "actions speak louder than words", and whereas we cannot always make out the name of the player as we watch, this, at least, we understand, whether it is spoken with an Italian or English accent.

The aforementioned adage, as the other which goes "a picture is worth a thousand words" are two aphorisms that Pierre Portelli of Net Television has never stopped to consider.

For those who are not in the know, the hullabaloo started when, in the clips of the Labour Party meeting he chose to broadcast in his programme prior to the EU elections, Mr Portelli thought he might as well superimpose captions, as if to make the message 'the people' were transmitting, doubly clear.

Now I, for one, know that sub-titles are meant for those who cannot follow films in a foreign language... so in this case, the presenter must have thought that the people watching Net Television were too dim to realise that the message being conveyed was "look, this is what they mean, so get off your haunches, or even your death-beds, next Saturday and vote for the candidates fielded by the Nationalist Party..."

Unlike the bigwigs of the Labour Party, however, I stopped short of assuming that we were meant to understand that the words were an integral part of the film, and that the whole package - i.e. words and clips - were identical to what had been screened on Super One Television. This was a blatant exaggeration - unless, of course, Jason Micallef and company also think their viewers need spoonfeeding - created to garner support from the Broadcasting Authority regarding how discrimination is rife against the Labour Party in the Local Media (capitals mine).

Speaking of the BA, of course, reminds one of the nasty comments made by Norman Lowell against those who are not, according to his myopic, racist, views, thoroughbreds - relative term, that - worthy of a nook in the new Europa. It is one thing for the gentleman to go up to a dancer and tell him that he looks 'noble', and asking him about his lineage - but altogether another to tell me that if I am in any way 'blemished' (through heredity, physical defects, skin colour, what have you) I am not worthy of such a cranny.

But the Question of the Week to the Broadcasting Authority is this: Are they aware that last Saturday, at around 11 a.m., when we were listening to the explanation of the libretto of I Promessi Sposi on a particular radio station, the tape stuck on the word ribelljoni, which was repeated, unpunctuated, for at least a zillion times (at least a quarter of an hour anyway), without anyone being present in the studios to send out an apology, or at least some classical music, as is done elsewhere?

I had been under the impression that while the quaintly rechristened "10.66" was relaying Parliament sessions, 'the best of both worlds' - Radju Bronja and Campus FM would have united, as per the promises made not that many moons ago, to give us a station with more than a single braincell, but push has not yet come to shove.

Forget about the puppet li ghandu daqsxejn taz-zokkor. It is not only Maltese ("partikulari persuna", repeated several times in the same [radio] programme) that is being mauled on out local stations, as I have often had cause to comment, but English too.

This week we had a description of people who work "day in, day out, jigifieri gurnata jahdmu u ohra le." Then we had an advertorial for yet another thingamajig for the kitchen ('which actually helps you learn how to cook') about which the presenter said "All the Maltese use [this product] and they are asking 'why the food comes so good?'," and a mother who would like to feed her child more greenery because he probably has cerelac (sic) condition.

Some presenters also have a tiny difficulty when it comes to using the word 'live'. Someone who is recorded during a live (i.e. not playback) performance, does not go on to sing the song live each time it is played on the media. The word also appears during several clips that are included in other, later, television programmes, to make an impact with viewers, when what is happening onscreen may by no stretch of the imagination be happening at that point in time.

At least there is one good idea behind magazine programmes is that, with the right amalgamation of guests, features and features, they can practically run by themselves; the presenter doesn't even have to appear on camera at every instant, or even take centre stage when he or she does.

But of course, not everyone sees it that way. Rather than leaving well alone, they interrupt with inane remarks or non sequiturs, just to remind everyone who is really running the show. Not everyone, like Clare Agius, can find a mini-clone to take over where she left off.