Herd in the Hide...

Members of the crew of United States Z class destroyer Arnold Schwarzenegger gave of their services to give a much-needed facelift to the façade of the convent of the Secret Heart, while the Z Class destroyer was in Grand Harbour recently.

After giving two coats to the front of the convent, the crew members were then able to offer their assistance to the sisters themselves.

Pictured above are the crew members and the sisters concerned. The sisters are the ones with the silly grins on their faces.

Talented young Maltese designer launches his Autumn collection

Talented young Maltese designer Raymonde Scerri Sant recently launched his Autumn collection in the Paeony Room of the Grand Hotel Chipolata.

Raymonde emphasised that his theme would be wearability. He told Herd in the Hide: "All my clothes are wearable." (Which is just as well, since that's what they're supposed to do... Ed)

He continued: "My predominant colour in the collection is pink. I think pink is sooo feminine, it's my favourite and I wear a lot of it myself." (Why am I not astounded to hear that?... Ed)

The Malta Boars (Are you sure that's how you spell it?.. Ed) Club welcome Catania Boars Club president

At a dinner given in his honour, in the Spare Rib Room of the Coronary Palace Hotel, the president of the Catania Boars Club, Boar Adriano Camorra, was welcomed by his Malta counterpart, Boar Edward Torpiano Grech, who called on his fellow Maltese Boars to bid Boar Camorra welcome in the usual Boars way, by oinking their greeting.

After a brief hiatus, during which the guests were a little inconvenienced by the unannounced intrusion of a group of animal handlers from the abattoir, Boar Camorra responded to his welcome in kind.

This time, a further invasion was prevented by increasing the security on the door.

Pictured above is the top table, oinking in unison: Boar Torpiano Grech is the fat one in the middle of the group, in the ostentatious sash with his mouth open in mid oink.

Famous Hollywood film star visits the Fricasséed Ferret

Mr Giovanni Apap Borg, pictured left hogging the photo, played mine host to famous Hollywood movie star Miles Stentorian (Who?.. Ed), partially obscured by Mr Apap Borg in the picture.

The superstar was in Malta recently shooting scenes from his latest blockbuster epic commercial, The Sword and the Sandal. Stentorian had apparently told his minders he particularly wanted to dine at the Fricaséed Ferret.

Mr Apap Borg welcomed the megastar in the bar of the restaurant, where a photographer was already primed and waiting. Stentorian was said to be overweened by the ambience and the welcome. He was also most interested to see the walls of the bar festooned with photos of Mr Apap Borg, obscuring a host of other celebs.

Mr Apap Borg is, of course, quite famous himself, having once famously dated Hollywood actress Kim Passenger.

Unfortunately Stentorian had to leave without enjoying dinner at the Fricaséed Ferret, as sadly... the fish was off.

People

Neville Azzopardi Walls, the only son of Mr and Mrs Wilfred Azzopardi Walls of, "My Struggle", New Street off Nearly New Street, Ta' l-Ibrag, returned to Malta recently after obtaining a diploma... with honours, from the Swindon Polytechnic, in pure and applied trainspotting.

Neville intends setting up a Malta trainspotters club... just as soon as his anorak comes back from the cleaners.

For your diary

Next Thursday the Valletta and District Pyrotechnics Club are holding a meeting for members and friends at the club premises in the basement of Castille, where a demonstration of the fireworks maker's art will be given, after which a film will be shown, Death Wish 3.

The Stay Out of Europe campaign is holding a winding-up party in the Romano Prodi suite of the Europa Nostra Hotel next Friday at 8 p.m.

The lament will be sung by the chief mourner's assistant, Dr Karmenu Mifsud Versace. Dress code: Sackloth and ashes. Please note that the only wine to be served will be made from sour grapes.