Cana marriage courses

Much has been written and reported with regard to the Cana Movement marriage preparation courses, with evaluations being thrown about every which way. However, I feel that 'the other side of the story' may not be being given adequate coverage.

Certain reports attempt to give the reader an overview of the state and worth of the Cana courses. I would have thought that journalistic experience would have cautioned against a biased view of the issue.

The better part of a particular article was directed so strongly against this 'biggest waste of time' which unfortunately is essential for a 'little bit of paper stamped by the Cana official before the bride is allowed to waltz down the aisle', with only a few paragraphs dedicated to the opposing view.

The writer clearly has very firm views on the matter; hence, I suppose, the derogatory tone when speaking of the course as a necessity in order to 'get hitched' compelling engaged couples to 'trot down' to the meeting place and 'listen to so-called experts telling [her] how to live [her] marriage.' Of course, the journalist is entitled to her opinion - however, I do not believe that the conclusion should be such an uncompromisingly negative opinion of these courses, demonstrating its utter failure to help couples.

For, at least, the Cana course is intended to prepare and guide individuals through a course of formation. At least, that was my experience, and the experience of quite a number of people of my acquaintance.

I believe that a general denigration of the Cana course is, first of all, unfair to those married couples who - whether younger or older - are willing to give up two hours every week to spend with a number of potentially reticent couples who attend with a preconceived idea of what to expect.

More than that, it is utterly insulting to those who really make an effort: both the priest and the two married couples we had guiding us were among the sweetest, most modern and admirable people I have met in a long time. What a pity this approach is preventing a reflection of the good that may come from such courses!

One particular interviewee complains about paying Lm10 per couple and accuses the Church authorities of 'trying to make a business out of it'. With Lm10 per couple? With a priest and four other individuals, with guest lecturers too? Some courses even offer coffee, tea, sandwiches and bread pudding!

I am no whiz in business or quick money-making schemes, but somehow, this method wouldn't seem to be top on my list! And - sad as it may seem - what is Lm10 today - two pizzas and a drink would surpass that amount!

Further, presumably, the Lm25 is the processing fee which I believe we pay in many other areas, such as O-level and A-level examination applications, if I am not mistaken.

Again, is the general complaint the fact that middle-aged couples give their views on the dictates of the Church, or the fact that the dictates of the Church might not be too popular? Like it or not, the rules of the Church are like the rules of a club: join the club and subscribe to them, or stay out and don't be bound by them. It's not as if we don't have an alternative - civil marriages are always an option.

Another remark made was that the Cana course fosters more dogma than faith. What does this mean? Also stated was that 'the Church authorities have to realise that mature people cannot be bullied into anything'.

At the end of the day, I am not about to defend Cana courses, nor am I trying to champion their compulsory nature (although I have to say that had they not been compulsory I wouldn't have chosen to attend, and, having completed the course I look upon it as a very useful experience!) however, I believe that there should be a general endeavour not to be dogmatic and strive for an unbiased reporting of the facts.

Often, destructive criticism does not lead to any real solution of the problem. Fine, Cana courses of the more derogatory type do still exist, but useful and enjoyable ones exist too. Until the situation is rectified on a wide-scale, general basis, maybe couples should 'shop around' before they decide where they wish to spend their time. A little unbiased reporting may help bring this idea to the fore.