Pamela Hansen writing in this paper (February 9), about the much-awaited setting up of the Family Court and focusing on a particularly unfortunate case, and Fr Noel Grima, writing in another Sunday paper about the logjam in the law courts in cases involving child custody, highlighted concerns on child custody in separation cases.

All cases involving marriage break-ups are distressing to the parties and even more so to the children who, more often than not are used as pawns. Unfortunately, the number of separation cases is increasing and the existing system is bursting at the seams and cannot cope, which is why people who are in litigation or considering litigation, should first contemplate mediation.

Mediation is fast becoming one of the most accepted methods of conflict resolution. You no longer have to go to court to resolve your disputes. Now you have a choice! You can choose to work out your differences and resolve them your way, tailoring your solutions to fit your particular set of circumstances.

While mediation has been in existence for decades, the general public is only now beginning to hear about this form of dispute resolution. In my opinion, our legal system is in the midst of an unprecedented evolution, with mediation being the latest phase of that evolution.

Arbitration was the first phase. Arbitration is like an informal trial. The arbitrator, after listening to each party present evidence and cross-examine one another, enters an award for one side and against the other.

Mediation, in contrast, is not judgment based but rather derives from the win-win principles of negotiation. My prediction is that mediation will soon be the most favoured and frequently chosen method of dispute resolution.

Mediation, first and foremost, is a negotiation process. The end result of mediation is a legally enforceable contract; not a third party ordered judgment. It is the end contract that puts "teeth" in the mediation process.

The mediated approach to resolving disputes undeniably challenges the adversarial paradigm to which we have become so accustomed, and which is a part of our Maltese culture.

Mediation, unlike litigation and arbitration, treats disputes as solvable problems and not as win-lose situations. What most of us often mistakenly assume is that when we disagree on one thing, we cannot agree on anything. What we fail to realise is that frequently the concerns underlying our disagreement are reconcilable.

The mediator's role is to guide the parties to the contractual resolution of their differences. Initially, the mediator will ask each side to present his or her version of how the dispute between them evolved.

The mediator will then facilitate the generation of ideas by using active listening and issue identification skills. Often, the mediator will meet separately with each party to discuss matters the respective party is uncomfortable disclosing in the presence of the other party.

At the conclusion of the mediation, the mediator will prepare a memorandum of agreement, which summarises the final win-win solutions to which the parties have consented.

No matter the type of dispute, the advantages of mediation are numerous. Principal among the advantages is that mediation gives the parties the ability to communicate directly with one another. They are able to prevent unintended miscommunications by expressing their ideas in their own words and in their own way.

Another advantage of mediation is its flexibility. The mediation process enables the parties to choose where, when and how often they want to meet. The parties can include whoever they want in the mediation sessions.

Additionally, mediation discussions are not limited by rules of procedure or evidence, allowing the parties to discuss the "heart" of their conflict immediately and freely.

Yet another advantage of mediation is its confidential nature. The parties must agree to keep their discussions confidential, promoting full and open disclosure. The parties can then brainstorm creative solutions to their disagreements.

Finally, mediation overwhelmingly proves less timely and less costly than litigation. Mediation eliminates the formalities of a lawsuit and, consequently, avoids many of the legal fees and costs associated with litigation, for example, filing fees, court appearances, depositions, etc.

Mediation can be used to solve almost any kind of disagreement, including consumer disputes, employer/employee disputes, partner/owner disputes, and family disputes.

Mediation can also be used at any stage of the dispute process. What this means is that mediation can be used to resolve disputes both before they escalate into a legal battle - for example, to prevent claims of discrimination - as well as any time after a lawsuit has been filed.

Additionally, mediation can be used to resolve non-legal conflicts, such as those that arise in work situations between employers and employees as well as between co-workers.

I believe mediation will be the wave of the future and will soon be an integral part of our legal system and business world. The law will eventually allow for mediation in commercial and marital separation proceedings. Judges will increasingly recommend mediation prior to proceeding to trial and large businesses will create in-house mediation departments.

In the US, organisations like the American Institute of Architects are incorporating mediation clauses in their model contracts.

Mediation will become increasingly prevalent as people realise that, regardless of their disagreements, they frequently share common goals - saving legal costs, preserving relationships, maintaining confidentiality, avoiding lost business opportunities, and having the opportunity to "be heard".

John O'Dea forms part of a core group of 20 mediators who have received specialised, intensive training in family mediation and who will shortly be accredited as mediators by the Mediators Institute of Ireland