'Do not judge others...'

Fr Anton Gouder's reply (October 25) to Ranier Fsadni's column (October 17) cannot go unanswered. He states he sees contradictions in Dr Fsadni's article. Possibly, but not as serious as the contradictions in his.

Dr Fsadni is not making an assumption when he states "many cohabiting couples would like the possibility to remarry because they consider marriage to be a form of upgrading of their commitment". There are concrete benefits to be gained by marriage. It is contradictory in the extreme for a person defending marriage to "presume" it is a mere "assumption" that it is beneficial. Fr Gouder may be against divorce but in his haste to condemn he is here denigrating marriage!

The argument that "where divorce has become the norm" marriages have gone down and cohabiting couples up is an irrelevant remark. We are not concerned with other countries. We are concerned with the social and economic aspects of divorce and, by extension, of (re-)marriage. As Dr Fsadni asks "can there be any doubt that divorce legislation is needed in countries whose rates of marraige breakdown range from 30 to 50 per cent?" In a social and economic context, not a religious one, the answer must be a resounding 'no'.

In his fourth paragraph, Fr Gouder confuses marriages going down and cohabiting couples going up with a rhetorical question about how "they manage to put their marriage in the trash". At the start of the same paragraph, he states: "This also applies to couples who have never been married before". So first he refers to "couples who have never been married before", then he asks "how can they manage to put their marriage in the trash?".

His derogatory remark about putting marriages in the trash is a hit below the belt and an attempt to score points cheaply with less attentive readers. Furthermore, is he not aware that in many cases it is not couples putting their marriage in the trash but one part of a couple while the other is left in anguish since he/she is ready, willing and able to sustain a marriage? I know. I've been there. Shall I descend to his level and ask: Has he?

Again, his question about "infidelity and shabby treatment" is another cheap trick. Of course they are condemnable, within or without marriage. Wrong is wrong. What is your view on gay priests molesting little boys? Divorce has the unmistakable benefit of putting an end to infidelity and shabby treatment. If Fr Gouder denies this he is the one to arrive at bizarre conclusions.

His question "If one cannot steal material property from a fellow man, can one steal one's wife?" is still more of the same. Is anyone asking to steal wives? Where in Dr Fsadni's article does he ask for persons to be allowed to steal wives? This is another bit of gratuitous scaremongering. The pro-divorce lobby is asking to remove an obstacle to social and economic equality before the law of the state. That is all. Not to steal wives. Has the possibility of a divorcee having a relationship with a single and never-married partner entered Fr Gouder's mind? Again, I've been there.

Finally, one other important consideration which was left out by both writers should be given its due - divorce is accepted by the state in certain specific circumstances. I do not know the specifics and I have not consulted an expert, so I stand to be corrected if what I am about to say is incorrect.

My understanding is that a divorce obtained in another state is recognised by the judicial authorities in Malta. If this is correct, there is a serious inequality in the law, since it would ultimately translate into divorce being available to those who could obtain it (abroad) at considerable expense. Since the law is equal for all, such a situation, if, as I say, it has been correctly described by me, would render the law socially unjust if not unconstitutional and AD deserve every praise for openly supporting the removal of this injustice.

Dr Fsadni and anyone with an interest in divorce are solely concerned with legal, social and economic issues, not religious ones. Fr Gouder came out with his guns blazing in unthought condemnation not only of divorce but also of (re-)marriage and worst of all of people whose marriages have broken down (the "trash" remark).

"Do not judge others and the Lord will not judge you". Is he familiar with this verse?