Letter to a Muslim Arab friend

How can we engage in a meaningful dialogue these days? One year has passed since the tragedy of September 11. The terrorism of that date fuelled too much talk about a clash of civilisations. And let us not be naïve.

Although neither the Muslim nor the Western world is a uniform entity, there are considerable differences between our cultures, ideals and values, the ways of practising our faiths and organising our societies.

However, it is equally true that the Western and Muslim worlds are in a partnership, highly dependent on one another.

I write to you because I believe that the thinking and actions of ordinary people, like you and I, matter in the shaping of history, not only the policies of our elected or self-proclaimed leaders.

You are Arab and Muslim. Ten years ago you were unknown to me, someone about whom I would only have generalised impressions, coupled with prejudices picked up from others and the media.

Today you are not one, but several friends whom I have got to know and appreciate. I am from Northern Europe and a Christian. For the past ten years I have lived in Malta, geographically close to your Muslim Arab world.

I am not an expert or a scholar with great insight into your religion, traditions or history. I want, however, to engage in dialogue with a listening ear, an open heart and respect for your convictions.

In the Guardian Weekly of August 22-28 its Middle East correspondent for two and a half years, Suzanne Goldenberg, gives a chilling description of the violent conflict between Israelis and Palestinians and its effect on ordinary people on both sides:

"...despite the proximity in which they live and die, Israelis and Palestinians, in the main, are interested in knowing only their strand of the story." Focusing only on the suffering of their own people and turning a blind eye to that of the enemy, hatred is fuelled to justify escalation of violence.

In contrast to this, a Palestinian friend wrote to me some days ago about the need for all people in the Holy Land to feel the pain of others: "True love will come if we honestly listen to the feelings of the others, if we can prove that we have enough capacity to understand the other side and not to direct or control their way of expressing their pain."

When violence escalates, stereotypes about people on the other side grow in strength and power. They take hold of our minds and emotions until we do not see individuals any longer, only the enemy.

Dialogue is about breaking down prejudices, fear and stereotypes, discovering the diversity of people on the other side and the individual amid the millions. More than anything else, it is about feeling compassion for people on the other side.

This applies to all conflicts, including the one between your Muslim and my Western world. We need compassionate hearts for the suffering of everyone. Too many hearts are politically and religiously biased.

The Palestinian-Israeli conflict may be the biggest obstacle to a good relationship between our two worlds at the moment. We in the West have failed to understand the degree of injustice that the Palestinians suffer.

Both sides use equally extreme means of violence to further their goals, but in addition the Palestinian people suffer occupation and oppression. They are constantly humiliated. The Muslim, and particularly your Arab Muslim world, identify with that suffering to the extent that it becomes your own humiliation.

I believe that I cannot begin to understand your points of view and the heat and anger with which you express them, unless I enter the injustice inflicted on Palestinians and let their tears become mine.

The failure of the present US government is its lack of compassion and understanding for this humiliation of the Palestinian people. There are many Americans who think differently and express solidarity with people and nations who are humiliated. But as one American friend said recently: "They are not winning the national dialogue at the moment."

On the other hand, Muslim and Arab voices could show compassion for the traumatised Jewish people and assure them of their place in the Middle East. This might throw them a lifeline of trust that could break their entrenched position.

In saying this I am not forgetting that Europe to a large extent is responsible for the trauma of the Jewish people. The persecution over the ages, which culminated in the Holocaust, has inflicted incredible harm on the Jews and in turn on the peoples of the Middle East.

If the Palestinians and the Jews, and all their sympathisers and supporters on both sides, were to find compassion for everyone involved, the Middle East and our Muslim and Western worlds might take a giant leap towards peace.

There are other issues that affect the relationship between our two worlds. Since September 11 last year I personally have come to believe more firmly in the value of democracy and freedom. I reject authoritarian rule that suppresses diversity of human thinking and expression.

On the other hand, I am ashamed of the abuse of freedom in the Western world. The prevalent thinking says that freedom is freedom from moral guidelines.

On the contrary, democracy depends on commitment to honesty, integrity and a strong sense of responsibility for the welfare of others. Sound family life, faithfulness and the rejection of sex worship strengthen respect and trust between the citizens and are important ingredients of a democratic way of life.

When the terrorists claiming to represent Islam destroyed the World Trade Centre, Muslim voices across the world rightly protested saying that this was not the true Islam at all. It was an extreme distortion, a hijacking of religion that offended millions of its followers.

This was an important message. It received a strong response from non-Muslims who engaged in meaningful discussions with Muslims and stood by them against any possible hostility.

However, I long to hear more Muslim voices rejecting the political manipulation of Islam that leads to authoritarian rule and the stifling of freedom in many Muslim countries. I do not want to underestimate the courage it takes to express dissent under an authoritarian regime.

Maybe there are many who speak up without receiving due publicity. Still, I sense that there is a lack of self-criticism in the Muslim world. You seem too eager to target and blame the West and the US in particular for the injustices you suffer.

I would add: in the West we too easily focus on the wrongs of the Muslim world. We both have work to do on home ground.

Let me try to conclude: I reject the idea of a clash of civilisations. However, I believe it will take a lot of bridgebuilding and change from both sides to avert a clash.

A dividing line goes through both our worlds. It is not primarily between moderates and extremists. There are also corrupt moderates who just want a pleasant life and thereby create fertile ground for conflict.

It is between good and evil, accepting that good and evil exist in both our worlds. Neither the Muslim nor the Western world can claim to be the bastion of good against evil. We need each other. Humility and honesty about our own shortcomings is a sign of God's presence.